Making the Best

We moved into the old farmhouse a few years ago now. And there was so much work to be done! The walls were made of old plaster and were visibly cracking in places--even a fresh coat of paint didn't help them much! The attic floor needed to be reinforced; I was concerned that someone was going to fall into the dining room from a height ;-) and join us for dinner unexpectedly! ;-). There were major issues (we needed a well; the windows needed to be replaced) and minor issues (the mice were a little too cozy and settled; though I do like mice in moderation--just not in my house ;-), the walls needed fresh coats of paint) and we knew that we could only tackle a little bit at a time. 

The Lord led us to this home in the Midwest and I love the old farmhouse dearly. But there was (and is) an awful lot of work to be done. 

One of the "minor" issues was the lack of cupboards in the kitchen.  Actually, there were no cupboards--just an antique buffet that the former owners used to put their dishes and other items in. It was beautiful and big and immensely heavy--with see-through glass windows that didn't do any justice to my (lack) of pretty dishes  and to my abundance of child-friendly glassware and sippy cups. Any woman reading this immediately shudders. How does one survive without adequate kitchen storage space? Is it even possible? 

So I did the best that I could. I arranged my dishes and plates and other miscellaneous items in that great big glass-windowed shudderingly-see-through cupboard-buffet. I used the drawers for cookie cutters and other such items; the opposite side of the buffet is a house to my small appliances (blender, food processor, etc). An obliging closet upstairs and our attic houses some of the other kitchen appliances. 

I was not entirely happy about this arrangement but decided to make the best of it. We would get cupboards for our kitchen in due time. And I have read too many missionary biographies about small spaces and "making do" to whine and pout too loudly . . . 

But in this little heart of mine I was dissatisfied; I really was. My usually-very-organized- neat self balked against the lack of proper storage space. As time wore on and the dearth of cupboards in my kitchen became less and less of a priority in light of the more major issues that kept surfacing, I began to despair of my dishes ever receiving a proper home. 

And then there was the drawer in the kitchen that attacked me. It was the only place that I could put the utensils in--but the problem was that it was just too close to the hutch, which was too close to the stove, which had no place to go because of its positioning in the kitchen. And we needed a stove; so getting rid of that particular appliance was not an option--even with our commitment to rural living. ;-) So back to that drawer--it stuck when I was attempting to squeeze something out of it and shaved back a large chunk of skin on my thumb--there was a dizzying amount of blood and I still bear the scar from that particular battle (the drawer won). 

In response to all of these "issues" that caused me chagrin, I "left" the buffet--it was a bane and a blight to happy kitchen living. "It's useless!" I thought, and just let a little dust collect in its inner corners. The dishes and cups were neat, but not as neatly ordered as they could have been. My cookie cutters were a bit jumbled in another drawer and my gift wrapping drawer needed to be organized. I looked at that buffet and it looked back at me and I just couldn't wait until I could tell it that its lease was up. We scowled at one another; I refused to dust its inner corners; it refused to open properly for me and we were really very spiteful to each other ;-). "You're too bulky!" I told it and it squinted at me through one of its under-windexed windows.  We refused to speak to one another for a while and I very begrudgingly gave it a bath with magic erasers only when it pleaded. 

And then the Lord spoke to my heart. I'm a believer that the "hidden" places matter. The dust under the bed, the crumbs carefully concealed beneath the legs of the table, those things that are sometimes neglected because no one really sees them. But God does. I read a story about Amy Carmichael and about the way that she emphasized to the little girls in her orphanage that they should sweep the corners when they cleaned and not be neglectful of the dirt that "no one sees." Because God does and we do our work unto Him. 

I felt convicted that I had purposely been neglecting the buffet because I was irritated in my heart that I didn't have the right storage space. I humbled myself before the Lord and made peace with that buffet. 

We have been on friendly terms since. 

I saw an idea in one of my Mom's old country magazines where someone had covered the open glass windows of their "unsightly" cabinets with pretty fabric. There it is; I thought! And the next time I was at the local Mennonite dry good store, I purchased enough to cover the open glass windows. Painstakingly I tacked it on and re-organized my cups, glasses, appliances, and various other items finding a home in that buffet. I knew a peace sweeping over my heart as I accepted the buffet as the Lord's present will for my storage and trusted that in His good time I would have proper storage space. I look at the buffet with new eyes and I daresay, it looks back at me with a gaze of mutual respect. :-). 

The point is here that when the Lord at times, in His perfect wisdom, chooses not to change our situation, whether it be in great or small things (such as in the case of this buffet) we can either accept His will or balk and pout. I knew that it wasn't His timing that we put cupboards in our kitchen. My acceptance of His will was more important than me being able to immediately organize my kitchen the way that I would like to. 

And yet, in the meantime, the Lord gives us creativity and grace to make the best of our situation. When we don't have the money to buy books that we might like, He gives us libraries. When we are not able to travel or to go on vacation He gives us lakes and parks and places to enjoy His creation. When we longingly wish for a new dress, He opens our eyes to see what is already hanging in our closet .

When we make the best, He gives us new eyes--the eyes that redeem seemingly useless things to have use again and to be used for His present purpose. 

I have experienced this countless times in my life--I can either "make the best" of something through His enabling joy and power --or sit in my pouts before God. 

Is it wrong to pray that He will change our circumstances? That He will give us proper storage space, that He will open doors in whatever area of our life that we are praying about? Absolutely not. But as Amy Carmichael says, "in acceptance lieth peace." If the Lord is speaking the words "Wait," into our hearts, our response must be acceptance of His present will for us. He will give us the grace to wait. 

So we make the best. We don't rebel. We trust our kind, loving Savior--we talk to Him about how we would like Him to change our circumstances. And then we move forward. We are faithful in the small things. We clean the corners of our cupboards. We neatly organize our dishes. We talk to our children about being faithful in little things and we especially show them by our example. 

God is faithful in the small things. He makes the best of concrete and allows violets to grow through its cracks. He makes the best of unkempt lawns and allows dandelions to grow up in them to feed the birds. He scatters rays of sunlight through gray clouds. He dresses the birds beautifully in the long and cheerless winter. God makes the best; so should we. 

So we make the best too--with cheerful hearts in the joy of the Lord which is our strength. We trust the One who knows all things and who is infinitely wise and good--

And we make peace with old buffets. 






You might find me on these link-ups:

Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story,  Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Good Morning Mondays,  Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party, Oh My Heartsie Girls Wonderful Wednesday Linkup, Writer Wednesday, Tea and Word

Homeschooling For Structure

Let all things be done decently and in order.

I Corinthians 14:40

Summer is here, and as I look back and reflect upon the past year of homeschooling my children, one theme (most prominently ) comes to mind--structure in our homeschooling. 

Structure. It's been the word niggling on my thoughts lately, brought consistently to my mind through the daily events that occur in my life and in the lives of my children. Structure-- and its close relatives--discipline, order, and peace. 

Without structure, things fall apart. We need it in every area of life. An undisciplined pianist who never practices or does so on the whim or infrequently will never become a master of their craft. The student who never studies will accrue a mediocre education, though they may attend the best schools and be a highly intelligent person. When we play a simple game of croquet, or baseball, or soccer, we need rules--we need structure. Otherwise the game falls apart and as I was explaining to my kids the other day--is no fun! Everyone just runs around in a nonsensical sort of chaos like the famed caucus race in Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. 

The word "structure" has become an almost frowned on idea in the society in which we live, and yet it is the framework of any successful society! Especially in the area of raising children, I see this to be true. We have slowly drifted away from the very structured forms of education that we used to embrace, and which used to produce disciplined, work-ready adults. 

I'm not advocating that the education systems of earlier times were wholly without fault. Nothing on this side of eternity is flawless; we live in a fallen world and are fallen human beings. There is a strictness that is uglified by harshness. There is structure that is so stiff that it stifles creativity. But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater--because structure, and yes, strictness in a loving fashion can produce children who are highly creative, intelligent, and useful (trained) for the Lord's work and who do not carry the burdens of laziness, disrespect for authority, and inability to listen to anyone but themselves that are traits so characteristic of this society.  We should embrace godly, biblical structure which lines up with the teaching of Scripture, and trust that the Lord will work through it to His glory. 

I want to add a note here. When I am talking about structure, I am not suggesting that there is only one way to implement structure in the home.  The Lord creates different people with individual characteristics. Kids are different. Family structures vary from each other--for example, a military home may have a father who is absent for months out of the year; other families live on the mission field or travel for months out of the year to the mission field. There are single mothers who are trying to raise their children alone, without any help from a father.  Obviously, not every family must structure their homes or their homeschooling in exactly the same way or order their day minute by minute, necessarily.  My point here is not that all structure must be uniform; my point is that the Word of God exhorts us to implement structure in our homes--whatever that may look like for individual families as they bow before the Word of God--without any structure, there is chaos and unrest--even if the outward appearance may look calm and peaceful. 

We have come away so strongly from this idea of structure in our "modern" times. We are technologically advanced, but undisciplined. We think that we "know it all," that we have arrived, have figured it all out, that those who have gone before us were ignorant of the great knowledge that we now possess.  

The Word of God consistently admonishes us to consider the ancient paths (Jeremiah 6:16), to look to those older than we are for advice (Job 12:12, I Kings 12:8) , to remember history and the lessons that were learned so that we do not repeat the mistakes of those men and women who have gone before us (Deuteronomy 8:2, I Corinthians 11:2). 

And yet, we think that we don't need any advice; we live right now in a society where many of its younger members are actually considering socialism--a fallen, broken system that has never worked. A system that has only produced chaos, poverty, and despair. And yet many, many young people are embracing it head on--running into the arms of a treacherous beast. Because they don't understand history. Because they think that they "know it all" --and have been encouraged to think that way. Because we live in a society that thinks it has "arrived," "figured it out," that we are smarter than our forefathers. We have become a foolish, unstructured society of chaos in many, many ways. 

We need to fight chaos. We need rules. We need structure. We need order; we need discipline. 

These words sound restricting and confining, but they actually (when used correctly) are the means to order and peace and grace. 

This is what I am fighting for in my home and in my homeschooling. And what every parent may fight for and strive for whether they home school their children or not. 

We have an incredible opportunity by the grace of God to teach our children in a structured, disciplined way. This mirrors the truth of God's Word and will set our children up to embrace whatever calling the Lord has for their life--and most importantly, teach them the fear of the Lord--the beginning of all true knowledge. 

In every missionary and Christian biography I have read, structure has been a huge part of those men and women's lives who were greatly used by God. Structure that we would now call strictness and *gasp!* harshness and the stifling of creativity. Read any missionary biography--Amy Carmichael, David Livingstone, James O. Fraser, Elisabeth Elliot, John Wesley, Hudson Taylor, John G. Paton--the list goes on and on and on-- all of their lives were characterized by structure and discipline from the time that they were children --in those whose lives were not, structure and discipline were embraced in their lives tremendously after they became believers.  We have come so far from the discipline of those times. And I believe that it has harmed the church as a whole rather than helped it. 

I struggle for structure; daily. As a mother of two home schooled children, I have found it challenging to embrace structure in our home schooled life. Simply because in a formal school, a child has to sit still. They have scheduled times for recess, rules on the playground, set times in which they must fulfill tasks, homework to complete, and so on. 

I was talking to my sister, who works in a Christian school and she mentioned that the games on the playground always go better when a teacher is there to direct them. There is less fighting, less disorganization, less chaos--more fun and true play for the kids! Why? Because direction and structure--leaving room for creativity-- work! Rules (not excessive, but practical ones) work! Less people get hurt; there is less whining and crying and pouting. Everyone knows what to do and that there will be consequences for the breaking of rules--we see this concept illustrated simply in operating a vehicle on the road. If one runs a stoplight, they get a ticket--less people get hurt that way!

Home schooling presents the "opportunity" for less structure--the reason that many people actually have for homeschooling their children--but this is not my objective--

I want more structure. I want my children to learn to sit still for extended periods of time (they really are capable of it!). I want them to learn to study, to memorize, to keep rules, to have a schedule. This will help them to become capable adults and productive members of society! They will also, more importantly, learn to be disciplined in their life with the Lord. 

I believe that the "structure" that school provided for me was helpful--and I would have felt very frustrated without any structure, or less of it. My personality and especially my upbringing drove me toward a very disciplined approach to studying and pursuing my education--I never felt "stifled" by discipline and structure--rather freed by it! Structure is important. It doesn't stifle a child; rather, it gives them the tools to embrace all the opportunities there are in life with open hands and with an open heart to what the Lord's will is for their individual life. 

This is what I strive for in our daily lives--structure and order and peace. Rules that help, rather than hinder and stifle creativity--teaching my children self-control. Teaching my children that they need to sit still while we do our schooling. Teaching my children that there is a proper time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:11); there is a time for schoolwork, for physical work, for play. That there should be a balance. I am trying, by the grace of God, and as I believe that the Holy Spirit is leading me, to create structure in my children's lives. 

Obviously, as I mentioned, this order in the home will manifest itself differently for different families, for individual needs of individual children, according to the particular pathway that the Lord has led a family on. There is no one "cookie cutter" rule of structure for every child and for every family. It varies based on the family's and the individual children's personality and needs. But there must be some standard by which we all can follow--and that is the Word of God. 

One of the best examples that I am surrounded by here in the Midwest of order and structure is the Amish families who live nearby us and who I have come into contact with. My brother-in-law who is a Pastor also works part-time for an Amish construction company; my sister at times, drives a group of Amish children to their one-room school in the winter.  And so through their connections and because of the proximity of many Amish to us, I have had the blessing of observing and hearing about some of the Amish habits and practices with their children. 

99%, if not 100% are well-behaved, well-adjusted children who speak respectfully to authority, who are incredibly hard working from an early age, who love their families deeply and preserve the "honor" of their family name, who are very "happy" and well rounded, who have (in their own way) a deep fear of God. I admire that. I don't think that the Amish are perfect; I can't judge whether they have a true, saving knowledge of the Gospel--but admire the way that they simply implement the godly principles laid out in Scripture to raise their (many!) children. I've often wondered; how do they maintain order and discipline in the home when the families have so many children! And yet, they do. They adhere to the basic instructions for order and discipline in the Word of God, teach their children from an early age a healthy fear of authority and a fear of God, work incredibly hard, and produce some of the most respectful, kind, hard-working children that I have ever encountered. One of them, a 13 year old boy, helped my husband with some heavy work in our home--demolishing a room and tearing out walls. He did it cheerfully, he worked steadily, he looked at you in the eye when he spoke; he removed his hat, washed his hands, and combed his hair before we ate lunch! What a joy to interact with children like that, who have been taught from an early age the basic principles of order and discipline. 

So as I witness examples like that, I fight for order and structure in our home and I prize it as something worth having. I don't want to "settle" for less than that--And as I fight for order and structure--I also find grace. I realize how many times I fail as a parent, how many times I "let things go" that I should be concerned about or on top of. I realize how many teachable moments are wasted; how I have often failed in lovingly disciplining my children. This is where the grace of God comes in. He shows us how far we fall short and then gives us the grace to pick up our mat and walk--as Elisabeth Elliot says, to do the next thing--to take the next opportunity that He gives us to clean up the mess of our lives. Because even though our lives are "messy," who wants to stay in the mess? For me, I would rather clean it up--allowing God to shape and mold and forgive and humble and teach me. He is the God of order and peace--how I desire that my life should mirror that! 


Structure, order, and discipline are not confining, as it is often thought--rather, they are liberating! They open opportunities to us that we would not have had without them. They free our spirits to be able to listen to advice, to be able to learn from other's past mistakes, to become men and women of God who can concentrate, focus, sit still during a sermon without our minds wandering off, to endure hardship for the sake of Christ because we have been disciplined (Hebrews 12:11). 

One of the best examples of structure and orderliness surrounds us on a daily basis here in the Midwest--growing corn. It is always done in basically the same way, producing (with the right conditions and by the grace of God) a beautiful crop of corn. Corn which feeds the many, many animals who live here and who we depend upon as a food and income source. Corn that grows in perfect, neat, orderly, rows. Corn that depends on sun and rain in the correct amounts. Corn that comes from God as the result of neatness and order and the discipline of the hardworking farmers who live here. They don't haphazardly throw it into the ground. They have a plan, a time-tested plan for planting and harvesting and distributing that has benefited millions of people and animals over the ages. Just in this simple illustration, the Lord gives us a picture of the importance of structure in our own daily lives--and of how we can implement structure and order in our lives with our children. 

Do children need to play; of course! But you will never convince me that bizarre, chaotic, unstructured, completely unsupervised playing is part of God's plan. 

Do children need to rest? Of course! But even rest can be orderly, balanced, and within a certain time frame. 

Do children need the opportunity to be creative? Of course! But creativity thrives in the framework of discipline. One only has to look at some of the beautiful masterpieces of art to see this and consider the hours of concentration and focus that it took to complete them. 

Children are starving for order, for directions, for an outlet to use all of the vast creativity that the Lord has given them; as parents we can channel all of their energy and creativity in the right directions. 

If there is anything that our generation is characterized by (to our shame) it is the absolute disregard for rules and disrespect for authority. Our children are growing up with no healthy fear of authority--and as a result--with no healthy fear of God. What a sad place to be! But as believers, we can fight against this norm and do things differently in the sphere of our home and wherever our influence reaches. 

Some examples are listed below of where structure and order are emphasized in the Word of God--

~In church services  (I Corinthians 12)
~During communion (I Corinthians 11:17-24)
~In the way that children relate to adults/their elders (Ephesians 6:1)
~How the church organized the deaconship and eldership (I Timothy 3:8-13, Acts 6:1-15)
~The way Noah's ark was built (Genesis 6:8-22)
~The way that the temple was built (I Chronicles 28)
~Speaking in tongues (I Corinthians 14:7-8)
~Adam naming and caring for the animals (Genesis 2:20)
~The way that the ark was to be carried (I Chronicles 15:15)
~Instructions for older and younger women and men in the church (Titus 2)

Areas (these are just a few!) where our children will benefit from learning structure and discipline: 

~In the workforce
~In their respect of law enforcement and authority figures (whether we agree completely with them or not)
~In being able to play and interact with other children
~In having respect for adults
~In being able to sit still in church services and hear the Word of God
~In being able to sit quietly for any set amount of time (it will vary according to the age of the child) and read books
~Sitting in the car for any amount of time during trips

I still remember when my children were younger and they were acting very silly in the backseat of my van. I was trying to talk to my Mom who was sitting in the passenger seat while I was driving. My kids had books that they could read; they could have been quieter, more self-controlled. My Mom looked at me and said--"Stop the car; and tell them that you are waiting for them to sit quietly before you go any further." It worked. 

With such examples in Scripture and from the evidence of daily life, we see that structure and order are important. They may look slightly different in different people's lives--but they will all--when genuine--mirror the order and grace of our Creator. 

Who cares (ultimately) if children are "smart" but they haven't learned to sit still and obey authority? Who cares (ultimately) if children are creative and yet they cannot submit to instruction or focus on a task? 

Creativity and intelligence are only useful when coupled with discipline and structure--one without the other is like a headless horse that cannot run and is therefore, not useful for anything. 

This is what I strive for in my homeschooling--this is what I pray for grace for for the coming year. I know that I'll fail--many, many times. There the grace is found. It is not perfection that God seeks, but a humble desire to be taught by the Word of God and to pursue what is good and pleasing to Him. 

May we pursue it; may I pursue it--to the glory of God and for the good of our souls and those of our children. 





Helpful Resources: 

~The Shaping of the Christian Family: Elisabeth Elliot (this is one of the best books that I've read on this subject)
~The Hidden Art of Homemaking: Edith Schaeffer




You might find me on these link-ups:

Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story,  Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Good Morning Mondays,  Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party, Oh My Heartsie Girls Wonderful Wednesday Linkup, Writer Wednesday, Tea and Word

~A Lilias Trotter Giveaway~

One of the most precious gifts that my Mom gave to me growing up was a love and a nurturing of my love for missionary and Christian biographies. Next to the Word of God, the Lord has used His stories of men and women who gave up their "earthly all" to take up their cross and to follow Him in a tremendous way in my life. Filling my mind with accounts of the lives of Oswald Chambers, John Paton, Amy Carmichael, Adoniram Judson, James Fraser, William Tyndale, and many others has fostered in me a yearning to imitate these men and women in a very small way. I am so grateful for the gift of their lives and testimonies! I (truthfully) could never "get into" theological tomes--although I tried to read them! But missionary stories and stories of Christians who walked closely with the Lord--I ate them up and the Lord gave me an insatiable hunger to read about His servants. I'm thankful for this because it taught me by example that one really could follow the Lord wholeheartedly--that through the power of the Holy Spirit, this kind of life of surrender is possible. No one does it perfectly--but each one has the capacity through His power working in and through us to pursue an obedient, surrendered life and to make the most of the time that is given to us. Praise God that He does the work through us as we surrender to Him . . . nothing is impossible for Him. 

Many of you know about my love for the missionary Lilias Trotter and her writings and art. I have wanted to run this giveaway for a while now, in the hopes that it might introduce more of you to this wonderful servant of our Lord and Savior! My prayer is that more people will read her writings and in turn, recommend them to others; may the Lord be glorified through her precious example of faith and obedience. 

Included in this giveaway are:

 ~Lilias Trotter's biography, written by Miriam Huffman Rockness. This wonderful biography details Lilias's life and ministry in a detailed and engaging way. It really challenged and encouraged me. 

The recent documentary made about Lilias Trotter's life entitled Many Beautiful Things. I enjoyed this documentary very much--although it doesn't go into as much detail as the biography, it whets one's appetite to learn more about this obedient servant of God.

~Two beautiful bookmarks made by my precious friend Stephanie. Stephanie blogs over at The Enchanting Rose and if you have never visited her blog, you are missing out on a real treat for the soul! She shares recipes, book reviews, sewing projects, hymn spotlights, as well as other lovely and encouraging topics. I was so blessed by Stephanie's offering these bookmarks for the giveaway; I love the way that she beautifully designed them with flowers and delicate lace. They are so pretty and feminine and perfect for using in the biography of Lilias Trotter or any other book that you are reading! Stephanie also has a wonderful Etsy shop, Rose Petal Blessings, that she continually adds beautiful items to--and she offers free shipping as well! If you have never visited her store, I would encourage you to; you will love it! 

Please enter the giveaway below and share about it with friends! I know that Lilias' Trotter's testimony will bless your life richly. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How the Lord Answered My Prayer of 16 Years~Ministry Update

For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert

The parched ground shall become a pool,And the thirsty land springs of water;
In the habitation of jackals, where each lay,
There shall be grass with reeds and rushes.

Isaiah 35:6-7 NKJV


Nothing so clears the vision and lifts up the life, as a decision to move forward in what you know to be entirely the will of God.
~John G. Paton

About a year and a half ago, our family moved from Rhode Island to Wisconsin, obeying our Heavenly Father's leading and calling in our lives to begin a ministry in the Midwest. We came with a minivan packed full to the brim and I came with a very fearful heart, but also with a heart that hoped in my God's precious promises. He went before us. And that first year in the great "wilderness" of Wisconsin was one of the most difficult years of my life, but I would not trade it and the lessons that the Lord taught me through it for anything. 

I missed my family and friends dearly. But I found in my loneliness a Friend in Jesus. I found peace in the quietness of seeking Him. I found rest in depending upon Him alone when there was no one else to turn to. Truly, He gave me grace in the wilderness. 

My husband and I came out here to begin a ministry--people have asked why Wisconsin? Do we have family here? Was it work-related? The very short answer is no. We moved to Wisconsin after years of seeking the Lord and becoming convinced that this was where He wanted us to be--that this was where He wanted us to begin the ministry that He called us to. We moved here in a simple act of obedience to the Lord as He enabled us by His grace--an act of obedience that I struggled with up to the very end when the Lord strongly spoke to me through a Ravi Zacharias sermon and through His Word. I said yes to the Lord through many tears. 

Years before that, I had begun to pray--to pray for the Lord's direction and guidance in my life in regards to this particular calling. I was around 18 years old when the Lord spoke to me--and I never imagined at that point how much time would pass before He accomplished His purpose in this particular area. 

And now I am seeing the fruition of 16 years of waiting in a beautiful and precious answer to prayer. 

My husband and I want to establish a place of rest here--a place where fellow believers can come and have a respite from the world as they seek the Lord, a place for missionaries to stay, a place for pastors to come apart for a time of refreshing, or for any Christian seeking rest and quietness. It needed to be a peaceful place with enough room to house our brothers and sisters. 

When I came here, my heart was burdened with three main concerns. A job for my husband that would provide for our family, a solid Gospel-driven church, and a place, a home, to establish this ministry. 

The Lord mercifully provided a job for my husband in his field just before we moved here and then recently opened up the door for a different job in the same field in response to our prayers for His provision. 

He opened up a place for us to worship Him-- a church that we love and where the Gospel is preached boldly and with compassion. This was another precious answer to prayer.  

But my third concern-- for a place, a home; this prayer went unanswered. I struggled when the time came for our lease to be renewed. We had been here for about a year, living in a rental home that was not the most cost-efficient place to live. We were traveling a good distance to church with two small children and my husband, after the Lord opened up the second job here for him, was commuting about an hour-and-a-half to work each way. 

I felt as though it would be "wiser" to move closer to our church and closer to my husband's job. I prayed and struggled and sought the Lord, earnestly trying to explain to Him why moving at that point would be best . . . 

I heard the Lord's silence. 

We looked at homes to rent in the area where we felt that we should possibly move. We considered purchasing a smaller home, which would be more cost-effective than renting, while we waited for the Lord to open the door for a home for our ministry. 

I felt hesitant, but we continued to explore options. 

The Lord kept stopping us--a house would already be rented or an offer had already been made on a home that we looking at. My husband and I began to think that perhaps the Lord had a different plan in mind and that we were supposed to stay where we were, at least for the time being--but we just could not understand why. We looked at one final house, hoping that maybe the Lord would show us otherwise. 

That night, I read a passage in the devotional Streams in the Desert--

When the cloud remained . . . the Israelites . . . did not set out. (Numbers 9: 19)

This was the ultimate test of obedience. It was relatively easy to fold up their tents when the fleecy cloud slowly gathered over the tabernacle and began to majestically float ahead of the multitude of the Israelites. Change normally seems pleasant, and the people were excited and interested in the route, the scenery, and the habitat of the next stopping place.

Yet having to wait was another story altogether. “When the cloud remained,” however uninviting and sweltering the location, however trying to flesh and blood, however boring and wearisome to those who were impatient, however perilously close their exposure to danger— there was no option but to remain encamped.

The psalmist said, “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry” (Ps. 40:1). And what God did for the Old Testament saints, He will do for believers down through the ages, yet He will often keep us waiting. Must we wait when we are face to face with a threatening enemy, surrounded by danger and fear, or below an unstable rock? Would this not be the time to fold our tents and leave? Have we not already suffered to the point of total collapse? Can we not exchange the sweltering heat for “green pastures . . . [and] quiet waters” (Ps. 23: 2)?

When God sends no answer and “the cloud remain[ s],” we must wait. Yet we can do so with the full assurance of God’s provision of manna, water from the rock, shelter, and protection from our enemies. He never keeps us at our post without assuring us of His presence or sending us daily supplies.

Young person, wait— do not be in such a hurry to make a change! Minister, stay at your post! You must wait where you are until the cloud clearly begins to move. Wait for the Lord to give you His good pleasure! He will not be late!

And so, against what I humanly deemed as "wise and prudent," I decided to wait upon the Lord for His direction without actively seeking to move forward until I knew His hand leading; my husband and I committed to this course of seeming "inaction," renewed our lease, and decided to wait again upon the Lord in prayer. 

And interestingly, someone very close to me kept reminding me not to limit the Lord--I honestly was very doubtful that the Lord was going to open the door at that point for a home for us that would be the place for our ministry-there seemed to be too many obstacles and I just didn't see humanly how it could be done . . .   But  this person kept telling me to wait patiently--that I and my husband never knew what the Lord would do and at the same time the Lord continually kept reassuring me through His Word that He was ready to act in His perfect way.

The housing market remained grim. I worried and wondered and fretted and then returned to trusting in the Lord as we waited. Nothing came on the market that was suitable. 

Finally, as the time drew closer to when we would need to make a decision about whether or not to renew our lease again (the 6-month period that we had leased our rental house for was drawing closer to its end again), I believed that the Lord was telling me to seek Him more deliberately in prayer, and I set a side a period of time to do this. During that time, nothing still came on the market. Yet I waited, believing that His hand had led me to wait upon Him earnestly in prayer and so I did . . . 

Right at the end of this time of prayer and seeking the Lord, a house came on the market. I can only attribute what happened next as a miracle from the Lord's hand in direct answer to prayer. The house exactly fit what we were looking for for our ministry. It was set on almost four acres in a peaceful setting. Its outbuildings and layout would perfectly accommodate what we have been called to do.  And in the Lord's perfect mercy, the style of the home is one that I love--an old-fashioned 1890s house that reminds me of my beloved New England. Tears of joy come to me even now as I write this, and now that we realize that the Lord has given us this place for this time, for His purposes I can only say

I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me,

And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps.

He has put a new song in my mouth—

Praise to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

And will trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3 NKJV

Furthermore, to add to the Lord's merciful hand in all of these things, the home is located within a much easier commute to my husband's job and near our church. It is in a very rural setting, and yet easily accessible for people to find--I was concerned that we would be "out in the boondocks," in order to find something suitable, but the opposite is the case--we are in a very rural setting, located near a state park , but also in a location that is easy to find and access, which would be helpful for this kind of ministry. It is actually as though this home was made for what the Lord called us to--more than 100 years ago, no less! The Lord never ceases to amaze me and to challenge my "finite" thinking with His infinite plans. For years, I have been fascinated by missionary biographies and stories of the Lord's provision in the lives of people like George Mueller and Hudson Taylor. I have tried to follow their pattern of obedience and trust, although very imperfectly. And now I am again seeing this accomplished in a miraculous and merciful way in my own life. And I praise Him; it is all of grace. 

There were times when I doubted the Lord. There were times when I truly questioned my own sanity--when I questioned whether the Lord had really spoken to us. We had relocated halfway across the United States; some people literally thought that we were crazy, or at best, misled. But I held on to the certainty that the Lord had spoken to us and that He would fulfill His purpose, and He has. At the same time, the Lord held on to me and helped me and strengthened me in my times of discouragement. And He showed me His goodness in a wonderful and miraculous way. He gave us this home. 

Looking back now and writing this, I see that if we had done what seemed "wise" at the time, if we had trusted in our own understanding and ignored the Lord's gentle voice leading us to wait, we would have been locked into another lease or have purchased a home just before the Lord was ready to act and not have been able to move forward into the ministry that He called us to. I have learned through this experience once again, as I have in the past, that it is always better to wait upon the Lord when there is doubt. It is always better to trust in His wisdom, even if it seemingly contradicts the best of human wisdom. His plan may seem like it doesn't make sense, but He is preparing His best for us if we will wait upon Him and receive it. 

And so I praise Him for answered prayer--the answered prayer of 16 years, the prayer that I prayed in a little bedroom in Rhode Island as a teenager. And I pray that He would continue to pour out His grace in my life and make me into a willing vessel to accomplish His purposes. I pray that He will use this place of rest for His glory. And I pray especially that this testimony would strengthen other believers who are in a "waiting" place to hope in the Lord and trust utterly in Him. He is good to those who wait for Him. And they will not be ashamed. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Below are the links to other blog posts that I've written detailing our move here and how the Lord has worked His grace through our lives,  if anyone would like to read more about it--

Flying to A Summer Land
The Gift of Quietness
Grace in the Midwest Wilderness
When you Just Can't Do It
An Impossible Prayer Request
Midwest Ministry update

You might find me on these link-ups:


Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Mom's Morning Coffee, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage,  Graced Simplicity, Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, TGI Saturdays Blog Hop, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Living Proverbs 31, Sharing His Beauty Blog Linkup, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party

Loving Well---Romance and Redemption: A Marriage Mini-Series--Introduction

Note: This post is part of a series of posts on marriage/relationships. I pray that this "mini-series" would be a blessing to you! Please feel free to share any of your own thoughts in the comments! 

Chivalry in love has nothing to do with the sweetness of the appearance. It has everything to do with the tenderness of a heart determined to serve.

~Ravi Zacharias

As I've been thinking and praying about this mini-series on marriage and relationships, an idea surfaced in my head, and that was this--Perhaps we show how much we love someone by how much we are willing to suffer for them . . . how much we are willing to give for them. . . how far we are willing to go for them . . . how long we are willing to wait for them . . . how steadfast we will be not to compromise with sin to gain a temporary false peace that may be easily shattered.

This idea began to take root in my heart and in my head and I will follow this thought process throughout this series on marriage. Because I believe that it is true. And because I believe that there is no easy way for true romantic love to flourish except through sacrifice.

Our example is Christ and His church--and what stronger example of sacrifice and sacrificial love can there be? Even before we loved Him, He loved us . . . even when we scorned Him, spurned Him, spit upon Him . . . He loved us. 

I have to ask myself this as a woman and as a wife and as a follower of Christ--

How much am I willing to suffer, to give, to die to myself for the ones that I say that I love--

Nowhere is this more played out than in the marriage relationship.

The same goes for men--for husbands--and I believe, on a mystical level, they will answer to the Lord more strongly as the head of their families under Christ--

How much am I willing to suffer, to give, to die to myself for my wife?

Only when we can give everything, as Christ did, on the cross of Calvary, will we fully arrive. And never on this earth, or in this life, will we fully arrive . . . and that is where grace comes in.

We will never fully arrive. But if our hearts beat with the heartbeat of Christ, if His love flows through our veins, and there is life--than we will strive to be like Him. Here. In the now. In this moment with my husband or with my wife.

We have the gift of the Spirit of God. He enables us to become more and more like Christ. And the more that we become like Christ, the more we will arrive, the more we will love, the more we will see our shortcomings and cry out for grace. We will never arrive but we are arriving.

Defensiveness in our relationships is usually a sign that we have not humbled ourselves, have not been humbled enough--when we argue and we fume and we rationalize our actions, we show that we are lacking something of grace--the grace of humility.

The most tender, sensitive men are the first to admit that they are not always tender and sensitive. The most gracious, gentle woman is the first to admit that she is not always gracious and gentle.

Humility is the door to obedience and only when we stoop low can we enter the vastness of God's grace on the other side, in the great pasture of obedience and love.

Real love, real romance begins with humility. It begins with losing ourselves and putting on Christ. The most handsome men are the ones who serve, not the ones who work out at the gym and drive shiny cars. The most beautiful women are the ones who put other's needs first and forget about themselves in the blessedness and freedom of serving and loving purely. The most spiritual men and women are not those with the most theological head knowledge, but those who walk in daily obedience to Christ. 

The degree of love that we have for others is proportionate with the degree that we are willing to suffer for their sake.  

"Love suffers long and is kind." (I Corinthians 13:4 NKJV)

Real love has to be willing to sacrifice in order to mirror the love of Christ. 

"In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (I John 4:10 NKJV)

Because Christ suffered for us--God Himself, who is Love, suffered for our sakes--suffered because He loves us, suffered so that we may be holy and pure and one with Him. 

So we take Him as the Example in our relationships, as the way to know what real love is and how to practice it. 

There are no gimmicks when it comes to real love. Not even spiritual ones. We love well when we serve. We love well when we suffer. We love well when we abide in the vine. We love well when we die to ourselves and live to God. 

This is what brings breath and life and passion and grace into our marriages, into our relationships. Oneness with Christ and the joy that only self-giving brings. Death that brings life. 

And so I head into this series on marriage and relationships with a bit of trepidation. Because I know that I have not arrived. But by God's grace, I am arriving. And so I write. 

~Part One Next Week~

You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage,  Graced Simplicity, Children Are A Blessing, Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Living Proverbs 31, Sharing His Beauty Blog Linkup, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday