Making the Best

We moved into the old farmhouse a few years ago now. And there was so much work to be done! The walls were made of old plaster and were visibly cracking in places--even a fresh coat of paint didn't help them much! The attic floor needed to be reinforced; I was concerned that someone was going to fall into the dining room from a height ;-) and join us for dinner unexpectedly! ;-). There were major issues (we needed a well; the windows needed to be replaced) and minor issues (the mice were a little too cozy and settled; though I do like mice in moderation--just not in my house ;-), the walls needed fresh coats of paint) and we knew that we could only tackle a little bit at a time. 

The Lord led us to this home in the Midwest and I love the old farmhouse dearly. But there was (and is) an awful lot of work to be done. 

One of the "minor" issues was the lack of cupboards in the kitchen.  Actually, there were no cupboards--just an antique buffet that the former owners used to put their dishes and other items in. It was beautiful and big and immensely heavy--with see-through glass windows that didn't do any justice to my (lack) of pretty dishes  and to my abundance of child-friendly glassware and sippy cups. Any woman reading this immediately shudders. How does one survive without adequate kitchen storage space? Is it even possible? 

So I did the best that I could. I arranged my dishes and plates and other miscellaneous items in that great big glass-windowed shudderingly-see-through cupboard-buffet. I used the drawers for cookie cutters and other such items; the opposite side of the buffet is a house to my small appliances (blender, food processor, etc). An obliging closet upstairs and our attic houses some of the other kitchen appliances. 

I was not entirely happy about this arrangement but decided to make the best of it. We would get cupboards for our kitchen in due time. And I have read too many missionary biographies about small spaces and "making do" to whine and pout too loudly . . . 

But in this little heart of mine I was dissatisfied; I really was. My usually-very-organized- neat self balked against the lack of proper storage space. As time wore on and the dearth of cupboards in my kitchen became less and less of a priority in light of the more major issues that kept surfacing, I began to despair of my dishes ever receiving a proper home. 

And then there was the drawer in the kitchen that attacked me. It was the only place that I could put the utensils in--but the problem was that it was just too close to the hutch, which was too close to the stove, which had no place to go because of its positioning in the kitchen. And we needed a stove; so getting rid of that particular appliance was not an option--even with our commitment to rural living. ;-) So back to that drawer--it stuck when I was attempting to squeeze something out of it and shaved back a large chunk of skin on my thumb--there was a dizzying amount of blood and I still bear the scar from that particular battle (the drawer won). 

In response to all of these "issues" that caused me chagrin, I "left" the buffet--it was a bane and a blight to happy kitchen living. "It's useless!" I thought, and just let a little dust collect in its inner corners. The dishes and cups were neat, but not as neatly ordered as they could have been. My cookie cutters were a bit jumbled in another drawer and my gift wrapping drawer needed to be organized. I looked at that buffet and it looked back at me and I just couldn't wait until I could tell it that its lease was up. We scowled at one another; I refused to dust its inner corners; it refused to open properly for me and we were really very spiteful to each other ;-). "You're too bulky!" I told it and it squinted at me through one of its under-windexed windows.  We refused to speak to one another for a while and I very begrudgingly gave it a bath with magic erasers only when it pleaded. 

And then the Lord spoke to my heart. I'm a believer that the "hidden" places matter. The dust under the bed, the crumbs carefully concealed beneath the legs of the table, those things that are sometimes neglected because no one really sees them. But God does. I read a story about Amy Carmichael and about the way that she emphasized to the little girls in her orphanage that they should sweep the corners when they cleaned and not be neglectful of the dirt that "no one sees." Because God does and we do our work unto Him. 

I felt convicted that I had purposely been neglecting the buffet because I was irritated in my heart that I didn't have the right storage space. I humbled myself before the Lord and made peace with that buffet. 

We have been on friendly terms since. 

I saw an idea in one of my Mom's old country magazines where someone had covered the open glass windows of their "unsightly" cabinets with pretty fabric. There it is; I thought! And the next time I was at the local Mennonite dry good store, I purchased enough to cover the open glass windows. Painstakingly I tacked it on and re-organized my cups, glasses, appliances, and various other items finding a home in that buffet. I knew a peace sweeping over my heart as I accepted the buffet as the Lord's present will for my storage and trusted that in His good time I would have proper storage space. I look at the buffet with new eyes and I daresay, it looks back at me with a gaze of mutual respect. :-). 

The point is here that when the Lord at times, in His perfect wisdom, chooses not to change our situation, whether it be in great or small things (such as in the case of this buffet) we can either accept His will or balk and pout. I knew that it wasn't His timing that we put cupboards in our kitchen. My acceptance of His will was more important than me being able to immediately organize my kitchen the way that I would like to. 

And yet, in the meantime, the Lord gives us creativity and grace to make the best of our situation. When we don't have the money to buy books that we might like, He gives us libraries. When we are not able to travel or to go on vacation He gives us lakes and parks and places to enjoy His creation. When we longingly wish for a new dress, He opens our eyes to see what is already hanging in our closet .

When we make the best, He gives us new eyes--the eyes that redeem seemingly useless things to have use again and to be used for His present purpose. 

I have experienced this countless times in my life--I can either "make the best" of something through His enabling joy and power --or sit in my pouts before God. 

Is it wrong to pray that He will change our circumstances? That He will give us proper storage space, that He will open doors in whatever area of our life that we are praying about? Absolutely not. But as Amy Carmichael says, "in acceptance lieth peace." If the Lord is speaking the words "Wait," into our hearts, our response must be acceptance of His present will for us. He will give us the grace to wait. 

So we make the best. We don't rebel. We trust our kind, loving Savior--we talk to Him about how we would like Him to change our circumstances. And then we move forward. We are faithful in the small things. We clean the corners of our cupboards. We neatly organize our dishes. We talk to our children about being faithful in little things and we especially show them by our example. 

God is faithful in the small things. He makes the best of concrete and allows violets to grow through its cracks. He makes the best of unkempt lawns and allows dandelions to grow up in them to feed the birds. He scatters rays of sunlight through gray clouds. He dresses the birds beautifully in the long and cheerless winter. God makes the best; so should we. 

So we make the best too--with cheerful hearts in the joy of the Lord which is our strength. We trust the One who knows all things and who is infinitely wise and good--

And we make peace with old buffets. 






You might find me on these link-ups:

Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story,  Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Good Morning Mondays,  Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party, Oh My Heartsie Girls Wonderful Wednesday Linkup, Writer Wednesday, Tea and Word

The Sacrifice--A Poem

O Light of Grace
I lift my eyes--
The sacrifice
Lays on the altar stone
Alone
My timid heart 
With trepidation
Kneels before Your love

Remove my doubt
My clinging to
The things of dust
The clay
The heavy things
That weigh--
That weigh me down. 

I raise the knife
And flesh cries NO--

I go
Away and lay it down--the blade
Until my soul hangs heavy
Like a weight  around my neck
Regret will overcome me 
If I turn away 
From this stroke now. 

I place my heart--the dear thing-there upon the stone
The sacrifice lies still 
And in one final movement
Raise the knife and let it fall. 

My eyes are closed
My soul is stripped 
Of breath--

But when 
I tear these orbs away from darkness 
Into the expected sorrow 

I find there
Not the sacrifice I thought
But only grace sufficient
Hushing me with calm 
And offering the balm of hope



What was loss is gain
And in the dying ashes--life--
Not death--
But life
The Lamb of life--
Life fair
Looks back at me 
And laughs with joy. 

You might find me on these link-ups:


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Bi-Weekly Hymn Spotlight: O Thou in Whose Presence

For more information about Bi-Weekly Hymn spotlights, click HERE. 

O Thou in Whose Presence
by

Joseph Swain

O Thou in whose presence my soul takes delight,

On whom in affliction I call,

My comfort by day, and my song in the night,

My hope, my salvation, my all.

Where dost Thou at noontide resort with Thy sheep,

To feed on the pastures of love?

Say, why in the valley of death should I weep,

Or alone in the wilderness rove?

O, why should I wander an alien from Thee,

And cry in the desert for bread?

Thy foes will rejoice when my sorrows they see,

And smile at the tears I have shed.

He looks, and ten thousands of angels rejoice,

And myriads wait for His word;

He speaks, and eternity, filled with His voice,

Re-echoes the praise of her Lord.

Dear Shepherd, I hear and will follow Thy call;

I know the sweet sound of Thy voice.

Restore and defend me, for Thou art my All,

And in Thee I will ever rejoice.

Brief Synopsis: 

This hymn, written by British pastor Joseph Swain, came to my attention while I was listening to a Fernando Ortega recording of the song. The simple, heartfelt, yet deeply Scriptural lyrics ministered to me at the time, and the almost-hauntingly beautiful poetic melody hushed my spirit and spoke quiet and grace to me. Joseph Swain lived only a short while, dying at age 35 after a brief period of ministry. Swain, an orphan, became converted under the ministry of the preacher John Rippon, and subsequently began to preach the Gospel. Swain died on April 16th, 1796, but his rich, heartfelt and Spirit-led words of truth and encouragement continue to go forward through this beautiful hymn, among other lesser-known hymns and poetry that he wrote during his brief life. Interestingly, his grave stands beside the graves of William Blake and Daniel DeFoe... but his soul rests with the Eternal Father of his heart. 

How is this hymn meaningful to believers, past and present?

The Lord ministered to me through this hymn during a very difficult time that my family experienced in the years just before I was married. My father abandoned our family, leaving us in a very precarious financial situation. The Lord mercifully sustained us during that time, providing for us in unexpected ways and enabling my sister and me to work together to help support the family.  It was a time of darkness and of sorrow, but also a time of light -- light through the darkness, light that whispered to us of hope. 

My sister and I sang this hymn a-cappella for a church service and our voices joined together as we held onto the Lord's promises by faith in the darkness. 

The Lord brings us through times of intense darkness, persecution and pain, so that we will see Him and cling to Him. I look back now at that time, and I am grateful for it. He taught me things in the dark that I could never have learned in the light. He taught me to be sensitive to the pain of those around me. He taught me to trust Him in the darkness, trust Him Who is the Light, and our "song in the night." 

Fernando Ortega's recording of this hymn from his CD, This Bright Hour:

Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Swain_(poet)

You might find me on these link-ups:

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Forgetfulness

For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth;

And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind.

But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create;

For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing,

And her people a joy.

I will rejoice in Jerusalem,

And joy in My people;

The voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her,

Nor the voice of crying.

Isaiah 65:17-19 NKJV

The water was almost warm, delightful on our feet, its spray grasping the edges of our rolled up pants. 

We laughed and we watched a great kite soar over the expanse and the seagulls swooping low in the soft blanket of sky above, and the waves licking the salty sand, reaching and then drawing back. 

And then we sat on the ocean's sand and ate doughboys and licked sugar and sand from our fingers and delighted in the swiftly dipping sun casting golden shadows over the melting day, the delicious air cooling us off and playing with the ends of our humid-sticky hair. 

There, all of a sudden, a thought came. I had completely forgotten about a project that I had been working on. A project that was taking time and energy and that I was fretting over at times. I had completely forgotten about it in these delightful moments soaking in the beauty of the Lord's creation and majesty. 

I had forgotten.

Another day, and I was sitting on the porch swing, taking a short break from the heat with my 1-year-old on my lap while my 2-year-old daughter and my mom threw crumbs of bread to the sparrows sweetly hopping around on the grass. 

A little group of sparrows drew my eye. There they sat, a happy gathering in the golden afternoon sunlight, basking in the provision and protection of our yard, chirping and enjoying the beauty and peace of the late afternoon day. 

Thinking of nothing but their present contentment and safety. Forgetful of fear.

These isolated incidents, these cherished moments reminded me of a truth in the Scriptures and brought me comfort and joy. 

The truth of forgetfulness. 

Of the day that the Lord will wipe away every tear from our eyes, when we will behold Him in beauty and majesty and light . . . 

When we will no longer be able to remember the things that brought us sorrow and pain and suffering. 

When we will be like Him, gazing upon Him, worshiping Him, delighting utterly in Him.

Death will be swallowed up in victory. 

The former things will be remembered no more . . . no longer will they come upon the heart.  (Isaiah 65:17)

Free to worship. Free to praise. Free to know Him completely and without the distraction of sin and its effects. 

Free. 

And forgetful. 

Of hurts and tears and sighs and losses and sorrows and tears. 

Remembering His mercy, and delighting in His love for all eternity. 

You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Theology Thursdays, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday, RaRaLinkup

A Door in the Wall

"Some humble grow at last and still

And then God gives them what they will."

--George MacDonald

"In acceptance lieth peace."

--Amy Carmichael

It would work out perfectly; I could just see it in my mind's little eye--

My almost-two-year-old would sit cozily in my lap on the glider, attentive and cooperative. 

I would put my two-month-old in the baby swing right next to us; he would enjoy listening, too, and then cheerfully fall asleep while my voice droned on and on, a picture of contentment and baby bliss. 

Ten minutes later, the two-year-old squirming and whining, the two-month-old wide awake and wailing and I sitting all-forlorn with a book in my hand -- so I think, what went wrong? 

And I feel frustrated after the long morning and I'm over-tired and the tears well up--

And secretly--oh-so-secretly, I am upset (angry?) at God in this little event because He didn't allow things to go the way that I planned them. Wasn't it a good plan? Isn't it good to read books to my daughter? He wants me to be orderly and to have a schedule and to enrich my babies' lives, now doesn't He? 

And so I'm frustrated -- and I think, I should just give up. 

I think and I pout and I sigh and I listen to my babies'  wailing--

And then, by God's grace, I don't give up. 

I pray and I take my babies and we sit on the floor, one in my lap and one beside me and we read on the floor, and it works. 

Maybe not in the most comfortable way, maybe not in the way that I had planned it, but it works--

And my two-year-old is read to and my two-month-old is comforted and we go on. 

I accept the situation that God has handed me in His wisdom and we go on.  

The Lord has been teaching me something -- day in and day out -- teaching me something--

I haven't learned it (honestly) yet, but I want to--

Bringing that old Amy Carmichael poem to my mind -- many times--

Convicting me through it, placing it in my thoughts . . . 

That "in acceptance lieth peace."

There are situations in life that I have no control over, situations that to every appearance seem like "dead-end" streets, with nowhere to go and no way out. 

But they aren't, and like Marguerite DeAngelis speaks in the book that my sister urged me to read, there is a door in the wall. 

A door in the wall . . . an opening of grace at the acceptable time, when God in His wisdom deems it so, a door in the wall that seems so ominous and blank and unmoveable. 

A door in the wall. 

That will open. 

I have a choice. 

I can go through life, through each day as George MacDonald says, moaning and raving and scorning and frustrated that things are not going the way I want them to in the timing that I want them to be performed in, 

Or I can accept. 

Accept God's timing--that after I've worried and waited and prayed for a yes-right-now- accept His sovereignty--

The sovereignty of His love. 

"In acceptance lieth peace," a true peace, peace of the soul, though sometimes I'm loath to admit it. 

And I'm not talking about jellyfish-resignation, about giving up -- but about steel-determined acceptance of God's will for my life in the now -- in what He is handing me today. 

After the struggle, the acceptance comes. 

Then peace.

And the door in the wall opens. 

To read Amy Carmichael's poem, click here





You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Theology Thursdays, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday, RaRaLinkup

It Will Be Well

The delightfully cool spring air held my face as I gazed out the window of the room where my daughter sleeps. 

The crab apple tree's blooms nestled almost up against the screen, their sweet perfume tucking inside the folds of the lovely stillness of the night. 

Outside, the birds sang their final notes, hushing into the dusk. 

And a peace settled into my heart.

After the busyness of the day, after the troubles and the trials and the testings and the failings and the perseverings and the surrenderings and the whole lump of it all. 

Peace settled there in my heart.

And these words drifted into my mind: "It will be well." 

The words that the Shunnamite woman spoke when her son died, just before Elisha brought him back to life by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

It will be well. 

And I have a quiet knowing in my heart tonight that despite all the fears, all of the disturbances, all of the worries and struggles, it will be well. 

The world in turmoil, devastation--destruction, sorrow, pain, unrest . . . and yet, it will be well. 

Circumstances around us may be closing in, constricting, squeezing the life and breath and hope out of our lungs  . . . and yet, it will be well. 

Uncertainty about the future, worry, fear, distraction . . . and yet, it will be well. 

I read the story about David defeating the great Goliath-giant to my daughter before she went to sleep tonight. 

One tiny stone . . . and all was well. 

One tiny, insignificant stone . . . and the Lord brought down a Giant of fear. 

The problems of the world . . . it will be well . . . for the nations are as a drop in the bucket for our mighty God and even now He is fulfilling His purposes through them, however unaware they may be. 

My circumstances . . . the Psalmist tells me that the Lord will "perfect that which concerns me (Psalm 138:8). . . it will be well. 

Uncertainty about the future . . . 

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

All will be well.

And in the deepest sense, All IS well. 

All is well . . . because it is well with my soul.

Through difficulty, through uncertainty, through fear, through unrest . . .

Because I know who holds tomorrow . . .

And I know who holds my hand. 

All will not be easy, but all will be well . . . and my great Father never will leave me or forsake me. 

The sky sleeps now and I write . . . my two-year-old softly breathing in her room and my baby laying just a few feet away. 

He will cry out for me tonight and I will hear him and comfort him and lay him back down. 

And all will be well. 

For . . . 

"As a Father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him, for He knows our frame He remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:13)

And all is well. 

You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Theology Thursdays, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday