Children and Hollyhocks

My dining room is full of hollyhocks. Last year, I had the grand idea of planting 400 pots of these lovely flowers--the former owners of our home grew old fashioned hollyhocks on our property and I love their sweet, simple beauty. We have a farm stand; I sell flowers there sometimes, and so last fall, I collected thousands of tiny hollyhock seeds with the intention of planting them in the early spring to sell on our farm stand. 

I dried the seeds painstakingly and protected them from the little mice that sometimes appear in the attic of our old farmhouse. I collected yogurt and other plastic containers as well as pre-used plastic flower pots. They quickly began to fill our little milk house (where I keep some of my gardening things). In the early spring, I began to fill pots up with my two children and my niece. 400 pots in an attic is a lot of pots! I realized this mid-job. And yet, undeterred, we carried on. At the end of it all, we filled a little over 300 pots with garden soil; then came the job of sorting the seeds and planting them in the pots. This took several days. At the end of it all, when my little seedlings started to sprout, I realized that the attic wasn't providing enough light! There is one large window in our attic and many of the plants weren't getting the light from that window--they were looking sickly--I would say that they were looking green and sickly, but plants are supposed to be green ;-). And so, I decided to transfer the over-300 hollyhock babies into my light-filled dining room (well, at least when the clouds aren't hiding the sun here in the sometimes-temperamental Midwest ;-)). I set up folding tables in my dining room and made a kind of greenhouse there--I could watch the plants and water them and pray that they would grow being right before my very eyes as I  home schooled my two children at our dining room table. 

As I went through this process, a lot of thoughts went through my mind. I do a lot of gardening, but have never grown plants on this "grand" scale, and well, I was learning all along the way! I believe that the Lord teaches us His lessons through everyday, very common things, and all sorts of "lessons" came into my thinking. Many of them were related to my children and I began making connections between growing these 300 plus hollyhock babies and raising them. 

I wanted to share some of the little lessons that the Lord brought to my mind and my heart as I tended to my hollyhocks; they were an encouragement and a reminder to me--I pray that they will also be to you!

The soil must be deep and have good drainage~~
We had to fill over 300 pots and containers to grow our hollyhock seeds. I had all different kinds of containers, some gifted to and some acquired by me.  I realized that the "shallower" pots were not going to allow my seeds to grow properly into plants, so I tried to select the ones that would allow the roots to go down deep enough to be established. The containers that didn't have holes in the bottom (such as yogurt containers, etc.) required them for drainage, and so my nephew used his drill to put drainage holes into the bottoms of them. 

The same is true for children. Our homes are like our "pots." The kind of "pots" that we have will determine strongly what kind of "plants" or adults our children will become. Our homes (growing containers :-)) must be deep spiritually. They must contain the rich, nourishing soil of the Word of God. They must be filled with the fertilizer of truth and righteousness mixed alongside the minerals of mercy and forgiveness. We "water" our little seeds in our homes with love and wholesome words, with the refreshment of loving discipline and with words of exhortation and encouragement. And we never want that "water" to be stagnant, sitting at the bottom of the pot, creating a moldy mess--it is needs to be clean, clear, and flowing, creating and causing the seeds to come out of their shell and emerge into the light. Our words and actions in our homes should effect change and transformation, not stagnation or frustration. How many of us need help in this area? I know that I do! Only the grace and work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts and homes will make a transforming difference--creating peace out of chaos. Our "wells" are not deep enough--and often they run dry. The Holy Spirit is a daily, living resource to tap into--where the life-giving water that always flows runs continually. When we admit that we are not able, not capable, and reach out our hands to Him, He fills our empty" "watering cans" with His water. 

Hollyhocks and other plants need light to thrive and grow
Another lesson that I learned as I planted and watched my little hollyhocks sprout up is the importance of light. I thought that our attic might be a good place to keep these little hollyhocks--it has a good sized window and a fair amount of light. But the more that I watched my hollyhocks develop, the more that I realized that the light there just wasn't enough. Many of the hollyhocks in the corners of the attic had weak stems and looked sickly. I quickly assessed the situation and decided that the hollyhocks needed an exodus downstairs into my dining room (where there is a lot more light) if they were going to survive and thrive. My kids and I tromped up and down the stairs, transferring all of those little seedlings before it was too late. I think that this step of action saved them from certain death--they began to lift their little heads up and their stems looked less "see-through." They were becoming more hearty. 

Isn't this true of our children, too? They need sunshine in their lives--creativity, meaningful conversations with adults, someone to read to them, someone to imaging and to play with them, someone to encourage them in their creativity and in their daily work. They also need the sunshine or light of being daily taught about Jesus --It's fascinating in a very simple way that Jesus is called "the Light" of the world." What does light do? It illuminates darkness. Bringing Jesus perpetually and continually into our conversations with our children and into our daily actions as we walk with Him as a Friend in our homes brings a sunshiny glow to our children's upbringing--a joy that can only come through the Holy Spirit of God and His sustaining influence in our lives as He illumines our darkness. 

Do you crave this kind of light? I know that I do~~call out to Jesus and He will teach you how to bring His light into your home~~He never turns away anyone who asks. We can try to create a "spiritual home atmosphere," but it is only when we invite the Holy Spirit in that this will become real and alive. Let the sunshine of His sweet presence fill your soul early in the day--spend time in His Word--talk to Him--and then bring that sunshine into your home as you talk to and teach and discipline and love your children. He will help you; He will do the work as you obey Him. 

Hollyhocks need water 
Oh, yes! This is important! As a busy mom, often "watering" was one of the last things on my mind. I had to keep reminding myself to water those little seedlings in the attic, and then to continue to consistently water them after they made their short journey downstairs. It's truly amazing what a big difference a little water makes!  A couple of days of neglect and my little seedlings were looking pale and weak. As soon as I watered them consistently, they thrived. 

Isn't this true in a child's life as well? At times, we grow "busy" with all of the responsibilities of daily life. We live in a world that encourages this kind of busy, rushing and racing around. We also deal daily with all of the distractions of technology--often we "connect" with people who we don't really know to the neglect of those closest to us! Friend, often I need to remind myself to be "busy" with what is truly the Lord's work--making certain that what I am doing is really His will for my life. At times, I've been sidetracked and distracted by the cares of this life, or caught up in some project or interest that is a weight and a worry to me. During those times, I've sensed the Holy Spirit lovingly and firmly drawing me back to Himself, to what is really important--to "feeding" the little sheep that He has given to me. Often, we are throwing water all over the place--little bits and droplets here and there when we should be concentrating on the specific purposes that God has called us to in our lives. One of these if we have children, is the souls of our little ones. As believers, this should be one of our primary concerns and focuses of our life. How do we "water" our little ones? The answer is TIME and consistency. We give them our time, we teach them in the ways of the Lord, we bring them alongside of us as much as we are able in our projects and pursuits, we deal with discipline issues rather than ignoring them; we pray daily for their souls and encourage them to walk with the Lord in their little lives. And when we "water" our children daily, without neglecting them, we will see the miracle of God's hand causing them to thrive and grow in His time. 

The little seedlings need to be supported and established.  
This is probably one of the most important lessons that I learned in this whole process. As the little hollyhock seedlings began to pop out of the soil, they were leaning--their weak stems weren't strong enough to hold many of them up. My Mom suggested that I put a little more soil around each one of them and gently push the soil near the base of the stem to support the plant and to encourage it to "straighten up." It took me about a week to painstakingly go through almost every little hollyhock plant and to gently reinforce it's stem. At the end of the process, some of the little plants died, but most of them started looking a little stronger and perking up. It was worth it to take that week and to meticulously go through almost every plant. 

This was one of the strongest lessons that struck home to me as it relates to children. Sometimes there are "weak spots" that we see in the way that we have raised our little ones. It may be a discipline issue, it may be a parenting issue on our end in some particular area. Maybe we should have been more consistent in another area. Our children's "stems" are a little weak and we're not really sure how their final "hollyhock" is going to look! Instead of despairing or allowing discouragement to overwhelm us, the answer comes in painstakingly strengthening the "stems." No matter how long it takes--or how tedious it becomes--the God of all grace is with us to help us.  Perhaps our little seedling's root is not deep enough--we should have pushed the seed in further--perhaps our little seedling did not get enough water or light. The answer is not to give up hope and just let come whatever may--to allow the plant to flop over. The answer is to strengthen the stem of the plant. We do this through prayer--praying over the mistakes we may have made in different areas with our children (and we have all made mistakes; we have all fallen short!) And we do this through carefully doing right in those areas that the Lord has shown us we need to work on. Day by day. Moment by moment. Dealing with the issues--not ignoring them--strengthening the stem. Pushing the rich soil of consistency around the base of the stem. Praying to the Lord to strengthen the little plants and being faithful. The Lord will bless us and our children if we truly want them to love the Lord with all of their hearts and to grow in His ways. He is a God of grace and He will bless us as we obey Him in our lives with our children. 

The plants must be hardened.
After all of the careful days of watering, watching, and protecting, comes the "hardening" phase in the lives of plants. There comes a time, just before the plants are transferred outside completely, that they must adapt to the cooler temperatures that they may face outside, away from the gentle, protecting care of the home and its pretty "unchanging" temperature. And so the plants need to be brought outside for increasingly longer periods of time to get used to being "away from home!" :-) 

Children also need to be "hardened" (and by "hardened," what I don't mean in this context is made less sensitive to the things around them, but more sensitive in His strength through the power and grace of the Holy Spirit). They need to grow strong in their faith when "cooler" winds test them. They need to embrace their faith as their own, and not merely as the faith of their parents. I believe that the greatest thing that this generation needs is young people who take the Lord seriously, who hold the promises of Scripture to heart, who are not afraid to stand in a world that will hate them and persecute them for identifying with Jesus Christ. Our children need to be "hardened." They need to be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power without, finally, our support. I pray this for my children--that they will be willing to stand against the powerful flow of this culture and remain faithful to Jesus Christ until the end. How do we hope that they will do this? Well; ultimately the outcome is in the Lord's hands--but through out daily example, we may encourage them to take a stand against the wickedness of the culture around us. We may instill the principles of Scripture and the theology of the hymns of old into their minds and their hearts. And ultimately, we may be on our knees, imploring the Lord to make our children strong in Him and trusting Him to work in and through them. He is the One who does the work when we humbly come before Him. We need "hardened" (strong, courageous, hearty, bold-in-love) Christians in this world more than ever. And they will be the salt and light of their generation. 

The plants will ultimately reflect His mercy and grace
When all is said and done; when the hollyhocks are brought outside and planted in the warm, receptive soil, when their roots take deep confidence, when their green stems spring up and their beautiful faces reflect the light . . . they are reflecting the mercy and grace of their beautiful Creator  . . . we were only the hands and mouths and feet and hearts that God used, by His grace alone, to plant and to protect and to encourage and to nurture. He does the work in and through us as we yield to Him in the process of bringing our children up by His grace. Each step is grace. Each milestone is a mercy. It is all of Him. And the glory of the flowers that we grow reflect the One who formed their very seed and pronounced it good. Praise be to God for His grace and mercy!

Have you made any mistakes as you grow up your hollyhocks? We have all made mistakes~~thank God for grace, recognize the mistake, and correct it, as He helps and enables you~~get your hands back in the soil and press on through the strength and grace that He alone gives. 

Children and hollyhocks; there are so many wonderful comparisons that can be drawn between "growing" the two. I pray that the Lord will bless these lessons to your heart as much as He has blessed me in teaching me and sharing them. <3 

Making the Best

We moved into the old farmhouse a few years ago now. And there was so much work to be done! The walls were made of old plaster and were visibly cracking in places--even a fresh coat of paint didn't help them much! The attic floor needed to be reinforced; I was concerned that someone was going to fall into the dining room from a height ;-) and join us for dinner unexpectedly! ;-). There were major issues (we needed a well; the windows needed to be replaced) and minor issues (the mice were a little too cozy and settled; though I do like mice in moderation--just not in my house ;-), the walls needed fresh coats of paint) and we knew that we could only tackle a little bit at a time. 

The Lord led us to this home in the Midwest and I love the old farmhouse dearly. But there was (and is) an awful lot of work to be done. 

One of the "minor" issues was the lack of cupboards in the kitchen.  Actually, there were no cupboards--just an antique buffet that the former owners used to put their dishes and other items in. It was beautiful and big and immensely heavy--with see-through glass windows that didn't do any justice to my (lack) of pretty dishes  and to my abundance of child-friendly glassware and sippy cups. Any woman reading this immediately shudders. How does one survive without adequate kitchen storage space? Is it even possible? 

So I did the best that I could. I arranged my dishes and plates and other miscellaneous items in that great big glass-windowed shudderingly-see-through cupboard-buffet. I used the drawers for cookie cutters and other such items; the opposite side of the buffet is a house to my small appliances (blender, food processor, etc). An obliging closet upstairs and our attic houses some of the other kitchen appliances. 

I was not entirely happy about this arrangement but decided to make the best of it. We would get cupboards for our kitchen in due time. And I have read too many missionary biographies about small spaces and "making do" to whine and pout too loudly . . . 

But in this little heart of mine I was dissatisfied; I really was. My usually-very-organized- neat self balked against the lack of proper storage space. As time wore on and the dearth of cupboards in my kitchen became less and less of a priority in light of the more major issues that kept surfacing, I began to despair of my dishes ever receiving a proper home. 

And then there was the drawer in the kitchen that attacked me. It was the only place that I could put the utensils in--but the problem was that it was just too close to the hutch, which was too close to the stove, which had no place to go because of its positioning in the kitchen. And we needed a stove; so getting rid of that particular appliance was not an option--even with our commitment to rural living. ;-) So back to that drawer--it stuck when I was attempting to squeeze something out of it and shaved back a large chunk of skin on my thumb--there was a dizzying amount of blood and I still bear the scar from that particular battle (the drawer won). 

In response to all of these "issues" that caused me chagrin, I "left" the buffet--it was a bane and a blight to happy kitchen living. "It's useless!" I thought, and just let a little dust collect in its inner corners. The dishes and cups were neat, but not as neatly ordered as they could have been. My cookie cutters were a bit jumbled in another drawer and my gift wrapping drawer needed to be organized. I looked at that buffet and it looked back at me and I just couldn't wait until I could tell it that its lease was up. We scowled at one another; I refused to dust its inner corners; it refused to open properly for me and we were really very spiteful to each other ;-). "You're too bulky!" I told it and it squinted at me through one of its under-windexed windows.  We refused to speak to one another for a while and I very begrudgingly gave it a bath with magic erasers only when it pleaded. 

And then the Lord spoke to my heart. I'm a believer that the "hidden" places matter. The dust under the bed, the crumbs carefully concealed beneath the legs of the table, those things that are sometimes neglected because no one really sees them. But God does. I read a story about Amy Carmichael and about the way that she emphasized to the little girls in her orphanage that they should sweep the corners when they cleaned and not be neglectful of the dirt that "no one sees." Because God does and we do our work unto Him. 

I felt convicted that I had purposely been neglecting the buffet because I was irritated in my heart that I didn't have the right storage space. I humbled myself before the Lord and made peace with that buffet. 

We have been on friendly terms since. 

I saw an idea in one of my Mom's old country magazines where someone had covered the open glass windows of their "unsightly" cabinets with pretty fabric. There it is; I thought! And the next time I was at the local Mennonite dry good store, I purchased enough to cover the open glass windows. Painstakingly I tacked it on and re-organized my cups, glasses, appliances, and various other items finding a home in that buffet. I knew a peace sweeping over my heart as I accepted the buffet as the Lord's present will for my storage and trusted that in His good time I would have proper storage space. I look at the buffet with new eyes and I daresay, it looks back at me with a gaze of mutual respect. :-). 

The point is here that when the Lord at times, in His perfect wisdom, chooses not to change our situation, whether it be in great or small things (such as in the case of this buffet) we can either accept His will or balk and pout. I knew that it wasn't His timing that we put cupboards in our kitchen. My acceptance of His will was more important than me being able to immediately organize my kitchen the way that I would like to. 

And yet, in the meantime, the Lord gives us creativity and grace to make the best of our situation. When we don't have the money to buy books that we might like, He gives us libraries. When we are not able to travel or to go on vacation He gives us lakes and parks and places to enjoy His creation. When we longingly wish for a new dress, He opens our eyes to see what is already hanging in our closet .

When we make the best, He gives us new eyes--the eyes that redeem seemingly useless things to have use again and to be used for His present purpose. 

I have experienced this countless times in my life--I can either "make the best" of something through His enabling joy and power --or sit in my pouts before God. 

Is it wrong to pray that He will change our circumstances? That He will give us proper storage space, that He will open doors in whatever area of our life that we are praying about? Absolutely not. But as Amy Carmichael says, "in acceptance lieth peace." If the Lord is speaking the words "Wait," into our hearts, our response must be acceptance of His present will for us. He will give us the grace to wait. 

So we make the best. We don't rebel. We trust our kind, loving Savior--we talk to Him about how we would like Him to change our circumstances. And then we move forward. We are faithful in the small things. We clean the corners of our cupboards. We neatly organize our dishes. We talk to our children about being faithful in little things and we especially show them by our example. 

God is faithful in the small things. He makes the best of concrete and allows violets to grow through its cracks. He makes the best of unkempt lawns and allows dandelions to grow up in them to feed the birds. He scatters rays of sunlight through gray clouds. He dresses the birds beautifully in the long and cheerless winter. God makes the best; so should we. 

So we make the best too--with cheerful hearts in the joy of the Lord which is our strength. We trust the One who knows all things and who is infinitely wise and good--

And we make peace with old buffets. 






You might find me on these link-ups:

Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story,  Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Good Morning Mondays,  Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party, Oh My Heartsie Girls Wonderful Wednesday Linkup, Writer Wednesday, Tea and Word

My Eye is Not On the Density of the Fog

A very dear friend and man of faith wrote to me and my husband recently. His simple, sincere words of encouragement reminded me of a story that I had read about George Mueller a few months ago. It was a story that "stuck" with me and that challenged me to hold fast to the Lord, even when circumstances seem to contradict His leading and clear direction. Such a situation happened to me about a year and a half ago when my husband and I were seeking the Lord in His opening up a place for the ministry He has led us to pursue (you may read more about that HERE). This is the story that I read about George Mueller. 

When I first came to America, thirty-one years ago. I crossed the Atlantic with the captain of a steamer who was one of the most devoted men I ever knew, and when we were off the banks of Newfoundland be said to me:

"Mr. Inglis, the last time I crossed here, five weeks ago, one of the most extraordinary things happened which, has completely revolutionized the whole of my Christian life. Up to that time I was one of your ordinary Christians. We had a man of God on board, George Müller, of Bristol. I had been on that bridge for twenty-two hours and never left it. I was startled by some one tapping me on the shoulder. It was George Müller:

"'Captain, he said, 'I have come to tell you that I must be In Quebec on Saturday afternoon.' This was Wednesday.

"'It is impossible,' I said.

"'Very well, if your ship can't take me, God will find some other means of locomotion to take me. I have never broken an engagement in fifty seven years.'

"’I would willingly help you. How can I? I am helpless.'

"'Let us go down to the chart-room and pray.'

"I looked at that man of God, and I thought to myself, what lunatic asylum could that man have come from? I never heard of such a thing.

"'Mr. Müller,' I said, 'do you know how dense the fog is?'

"'No,' he replied, 'my eye is not on the density of the fog, but on the living God who controls every circumstance of my life.'

"He got down on his knees and prayed one of the most simple prayers. I muttered to myself: 'That would suit a children's class where the children were not more than eight or nine years old.' The burden of his prayer was something like this: 'O Lord, if it is consistent with Thy will, please remove this fog in five minutes. You know the engagement you made for me in Quebec Saturday. I believe it is your will.'

"When he finished. I was going to pray, but he put his hand on my shoulder and told me not to pray. "First, you do not believe He will; and second. I believe He has. And there is no need whatever for you to pray about it.' I looked at him, and George Müller said..

"'Captain. I have known my Lord for forty-seven years, and there has never been a single day that I have failed to gain an audience with the King. Get up, captain, and open the door, and you will find the fog is gone.' I got up, and the fog was gone!

"You tell that to some people of a scientific turn of mind, and they will say, 'That is not according to natural laws.' No, it is according to spiritual laws. The God with whom we have to do is omnipotent. Hold on to God's omnipotence. Ask believingly. On Saturday afternoon, I may add, George Müller was there on time."

~Herald of gospel liberty, Volume 102, Issues 27-52

My eye is not on the density of the fog . . . these words have been playing over in my mind this week. When God calls us to do something, to believe that He will do something according to how He has led us and spoken to us, it will come to pass. This is what my friend wrote in his e-mail, this is what the Word of God strongly teaches us, this is what the Holy Spirit presses upon our hearts even when human logic seems to contradict His leading. 

The hand and voice of God led my husband and I out to the Midwest from our comfortable, cozy, coastal New England residence. 

He opened the door for a place to begin our ministry here, after living in a drafty, dingy rental house for a little over a year--and after seeking Him in prayer for over 16 years (yes; 16 years)--at the time when every single door appeared to be shut to us and I felt like my prayers were pounding on the iron door of Heaven. 

It was at the point when I let go of human logic and wisdom and what seemed to be the wise, prudent thing to do (to buy a temporary house in town while we were waiting for Him to open up a permanent place of ministry--maybe in the years to come, I thought) that I quietly humbled myself before Him in prayer. He led me to pray and fast in a specific way for 21 days and at the end of that period of time the door opened in such a miraculous way that I sensed His Presence and direction so surely and perfectly that I could only sit in the quietness before Him and thank Him over and over. 

He is God. He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond all that we ask or think. We limit Him through our unbelief, through our logical assigning of what we think He is able and willing to do. 

If God has truly called you to something--for me and my husband it was to create a place of rest for God's people--He will do it--be sure of your calling--pray, seek Him diligently--it is usually something that you don't feel qualified to do! But He is able. And as the friend that I mentioned at the beginning of this e-mail reminded me and my husband many years ago, He does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called. 

Are you called to raise children well--with a Godly foundation and heritage? Do it, and don't be distracted by the things of this world. Are you called to serve in a certain capacity in the church and you feel weak and unable to step forward? Take the first step, by the grace and power of Almighty God. Are you called away from your comfortable home to go to an unknown place, called to uncertainty and trial? Press into His calling and you will find His sustaining grace and the everlasting arms beneath. 

There is nothing too difficult for the Lord. And what we see as difficulties are only the places where He makes His glory shine brightest. 

So trust Him--and place your eyes upon Him, not on the density of the fog. 

You might find me on these link-ups:

Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, Messy Marriage,  Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, SHINE Blog Hop, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Living Proverbs 31, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party, Oh My Heartsie Girls Wonderful Wednesday Linkup, Writer Wednesday, Tea and Word

How the Lord Answered My Prayer of 16 Years~Ministry Update

For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert

The parched ground shall become a pool,And the thirsty land springs of water;
In the habitation of jackals, where each lay,
There shall be grass with reeds and rushes.

Isaiah 35:6-7 NKJV


Nothing so clears the vision and lifts up the life, as a decision to move forward in what you know to be entirely the will of God.
~John G. Paton

About a year and a half ago, our family moved from Rhode Island to Wisconsin, obeying our Heavenly Father's leading and calling in our lives to begin a ministry in the Midwest. We came with a minivan packed full to the brim and I came with a very fearful heart, but also with a heart that hoped in my God's precious promises. He went before us. And that first year in the great "wilderness" of Wisconsin was one of the most difficult years of my life, but I would not trade it and the lessons that the Lord taught me through it for anything. 

I missed my family and friends dearly. But I found in my loneliness a Friend in Jesus. I found peace in the quietness of seeking Him. I found rest in depending upon Him alone when there was no one else to turn to. Truly, He gave me grace in the wilderness. 

My husband and I came out here to begin a ministry--people have asked why Wisconsin? Do we have family here? Was it work-related? The very short answer is no. We moved to Wisconsin after years of seeking the Lord and becoming convinced that this was where He wanted us to be--that this was where He wanted us to begin the ministry that He called us to. We moved here in a simple act of obedience to the Lord as He enabled us by His grace--an act of obedience that I struggled with up to the very end when the Lord strongly spoke to me through a Ravi Zacharias sermon and through His Word. I said yes to the Lord through many tears. 

Years before that, I had begun to pray--to pray for the Lord's direction and guidance in my life in regards to this particular calling. I was around 18 years old when the Lord spoke to me--and I never imagined at that point how much time would pass before He accomplished His purpose in this particular area. 

And now I am seeing the fruition of 16 years of waiting in a beautiful and precious answer to prayer. 

My husband and I want to establish a place of rest here--a place where fellow believers can come and have a respite from the world as they seek the Lord, a place for missionaries to stay, a place for pastors to come apart for a time of refreshing, or for any Christian seeking rest and quietness. It needed to be a peaceful place with enough room to house our brothers and sisters. 

When I came here, my heart was burdened with three main concerns. A job for my husband that would provide for our family, a solid Gospel-driven church, and a place, a home, to establish this ministry. 

The Lord mercifully provided a job for my husband in his field just before we moved here and then recently opened up the door for a different job in the same field in response to our prayers for His provision. 

He opened up a place for us to worship Him-- a church that we love and where the Gospel is preached boldly and with compassion. This was another precious answer to prayer.  

But my third concern-- for a place, a home; this prayer went unanswered. I struggled when the time came for our lease to be renewed. We had been here for about a year, living in a rental home that was not the most cost-efficient place to live. We were traveling a good distance to church with two small children and my husband, after the Lord opened up the second job here for him, was commuting about an hour-and-a-half to work each way. 

I felt as though it would be "wiser" to move closer to our church and closer to my husband's job. I prayed and struggled and sought the Lord, earnestly trying to explain to Him why moving at that point would be best . . . 

I heard the Lord's silence. 

We looked at homes to rent in the area where we felt that we should possibly move. We considered purchasing a smaller home, which would be more cost-effective than renting, while we waited for the Lord to open the door for a home for our ministry. 

I felt hesitant, but we continued to explore options. 

The Lord kept stopping us--a house would already be rented or an offer had already been made on a home that we looking at. My husband and I began to think that perhaps the Lord had a different plan in mind and that we were supposed to stay where we were, at least for the time being--but we just could not understand why. We looked at one final house, hoping that maybe the Lord would show us otherwise. 

That night, I read a passage in the devotional Streams in the Desert--

When the cloud remained . . . the Israelites . . . did not set out. (Numbers 9: 19)

This was the ultimate test of obedience. It was relatively easy to fold up their tents when the fleecy cloud slowly gathered over the tabernacle and began to majestically float ahead of the multitude of the Israelites. Change normally seems pleasant, and the people were excited and interested in the route, the scenery, and the habitat of the next stopping place.

Yet having to wait was another story altogether. “When the cloud remained,” however uninviting and sweltering the location, however trying to flesh and blood, however boring and wearisome to those who were impatient, however perilously close their exposure to danger— there was no option but to remain encamped.

The psalmist said, “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry” (Ps. 40:1). And what God did for the Old Testament saints, He will do for believers down through the ages, yet He will often keep us waiting. Must we wait when we are face to face with a threatening enemy, surrounded by danger and fear, or below an unstable rock? Would this not be the time to fold our tents and leave? Have we not already suffered to the point of total collapse? Can we not exchange the sweltering heat for “green pastures . . . [and] quiet waters” (Ps. 23: 2)?

When God sends no answer and “the cloud remain[ s],” we must wait. Yet we can do so with the full assurance of God’s provision of manna, water from the rock, shelter, and protection from our enemies. He never keeps us at our post without assuring us of His presence or sending us daily supplies.

Young person, wait— do not be in such a hurry to make a change! Minister, stay at your post! You must wait where you are until the cloud clearly begins to move. Wait for the Lord to give you His good pleasure! He will not be late!

And so, against what I humanly deemed as "wise and prudent," I decided to wait upon the Lord for His direction without actively seeking to move forward until I knew His hand leading; my husband and I committed to this course of seeming "inaction," renewed our lease, and decided to wait again upon the Lord in prayer. 

And interestingly, someone very close to me kept reminding me not to limit the Lord--I honestly was very doubtful that the Lord was going to open the door at that point for a home for us that would be the place for our ministry-there seemed to be too many obstacles and I just didn't see humanly how it could be done . . .   But  this person kept telling me to wait patiently--that I and my husband never knew what the Lord would do and at the same time the Lord continually kept reassuring me through His Word that He was ready to act in His perfect way.

The housing market remained grim. I worried and wondered and fretted and then returned to trusting in the Lord as we waited. Nothing came on the market that was suitable. 

Finally, as the time drew closer to when we would need to make a decision about whether or not to renew our lease again (the 6-month period that we had leased our rental house for was drawing closer to its end again), I believed that the Lord was telling me to seek Him more deliberately in prayer, and I set a side a period of time to do this. During that time, nothing still came on the market. Yet I waited, believing that His hand had led me to wait upon Him earnestly in prayer and so I did . . . 

Right at the end of this time of prayer and seeking the Lord, a house came on the market. I can only attribute what happened next as a miracle from the Lord's hand in direct answer to prayer. The house exactly fit what we were looking for for our ministry. It was set on almost four acres in a peaceful setting. Its outbuildings and layout would perfectly accommodate what we have been called to do.  And in the Lord's perfect mercy, the style of the home is one that I love--an old-fashioned 1890s house that reminds me of my beloved New England. Tears of joy come to me even now as I write this, and now that we realize that the Lord has given us this place for this time, for His purposes I can only say

I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me,

And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps.

He has put a new song in my mouth—

Praise to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

And will trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3 NKJV

Furthermore, to add to the Lord's merciful hand in all of these things, the home is located within a much easier commute to my husband's job and near our church. It is in a very rural setting, and yet easily accessible for people to find--I was concerned that we would be "out in the boondocks," in order to find something suitable, but the opposite is the case--we are in a very rural setting, located near a state park , but also in a location that is easy to find and access, which would be helpful for this kind of ministry. It is actually as though this home was made for what the Lord called us to--more than 100 years ago, no less! The Lord never ceases to amaze me and to challenge my "finite" thinking with His infinite plans. For years, I have been fascinated by missionary biographies and stories of the Lord's provision in the lives of people like George Mueller and Hudson Taylor. I have tried to follow their pattern of obedience and trust, although very imperfectly. And now I am again seeing this accomplished in a miraculous and merciful way in my own life. And I praise Him; it is all of grace. 

There were times when I doubted the Lord. There were times when I truly questioned my own sanity--when I questioned whether the Lord had really spoken to us. We had relocated halfway across the United States; some people literally thought that we were crazy, or at best, misled. But I held on to the certainty that the Lord had spoken to us and that He would fulfill His purpose, and He has. At the same time, the Lord held on to me and helped me and strengthened me in my times of discouragement. And He showed me His goodness in a wonderful and miraculous way. He gave us this home. 

Looking back now and writing this, I see that if we had done what seemed "wise" at the time, if we had trusted in our own understanding and ignored the Lord's gentle voice leading us to wait, we would have been locked into another lease or have purchased a home just before the Lord was ready to act and not have been able to move forward into the ministry that He called us to. I have learned through this experience once again, as I have in the past, that it is always better to wait upon the Lord when there is doubt. It is always better to trust in His wisdom, even if it seemingly contradicts the best of human wisdom. His plan may seem like it doesn't make sense, but He is preparing His best for us if we will wait upon Him and receive it. 

And so I praise Him for answered prayer--the answered prayer of 16 years, the prayer that I prayed in a little bedroom in Rhode Island as a teenager. And I pray that He would continue to pour out His grace in my life and make me into a willing vessel to accomplish His purposes. I pray that He will use this place of rest for His glory. And I pray especially that this testimony would strengthen other believers who are in a "waiting" place to hope in the Lord and trust utterly in Him. He is good to those who wait for Him. And they will not be ashamed. 
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Below are the links to other blog posts that I've written detailing our move here and how the Lord has worked His grace through our lives,  if anyone would like to read more about it--

Flying to A Summer Land
The Gift of Quietness
Grace in the Midwest Wilderness
When you Just Can't Do It
An Impossible Prayer Request
Midwest Ministry update

You might find me on these link-ups:


Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Mom's Morning Coffee, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage,  Graced Simplicity, Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, TGI Saturdays Blog Hop, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Living Proverbs 31, Sharing His Beauty Blog Linkup, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party

Esther, Delilah, and the Power of a Woman

Note: This post is part of a series of posts on marriage/relationships. I pray that this "mini-series" would be a blessing to you! Please feel free to share any of your own thoughts in the comments; I would love to hear them! 


If you are new to this series, you can find the Introduction HERE, Part 1 HERE , Part 2 HERE, and Part 3 HERE.

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Our Pastor has been going through the book of Esther on Sunday mornings. I've really been enjoying this series and it has prompted me to think about the character of Esther  
and her flint-like obedience to God's direction in her life at any cost. 

I remember a film that I watched years ago about Queen Esther. I was so disappointed in it because instead of portraying Esther as a beautiful woman strong in conviction and in her God, she was portrayed as flimsy, overly-girly, and trite--characteristics that I never imagined in a woman willing to risk her life to save her people. 

Esther, the biblical Esther, was a strong woman, a beautiful woman, a woman of hope and grace, a woman who stood firm in the greatest difficulty. 

There is strength in gentleness and true conviction. There is strength in obedience and trust in God. There is strength in waiting and prayer and quietness and then finally, action. 

Esther displays all of these virtues in a beautiful, mysterious way. She captivates the king not only with her physical attractiveness, but with her gentle, quiet spirit. She also captivates the king with her strength of character and willingness to place her own life in danger to save her people. 

In other words, she feared Almighty God more than the King of Persia. What an example to us. 

Esther's people, the Jews, were in grave danger. Their lives were threatened by a wicked man, Haman, who wanted to completely and Satanically, obliterate them. 

And so Esther, in a position of power, was called upon. With dignity, grace, and determination, she accepted the plea of her Uncle Mordecai to approach the king and to plead for the lives of the Jewish people. 

She went to the king, risking her own life.

And then, Queen Esther used no manipulation, no formula, no pouting or whimpering or beating around the bush when she made her argument. She refused to grovel. 

She sensitively laid out her case, using the means of fasting and prayer, showing that her trust was ultimately in God, not in an earthly king. 

There is a mystical, spiritual power behind a woman whose hope is in the Lord. And that power is the Holy Spirit, alive and working in and through her to accomplish the will of the Father.

The man heard Esther. Both kings, Heavenly and earthly, stooped to her plea. 

Esther and her people were safe. 

The will of the Father was accomplished. Her people were saved and the enemy vanquished. 

There is something to be said here also for King Xerxes. He could have ignored Esther. He could have pridefully refused to hear her. But he didn't; his heart was moved--the work of the Father God and his own willingness to listen to a woman offering him wisdom. I believe that the beauty of Esther's spirit had softened his heart--and this was all orchestrated by the Lord. But he could have chosen not to be softened. 

And I speak to the woman here who thinks--but I've done that! I've tried to walk with the Lord in dignity and honesty and trust. Not perfectly, but in obedience to the Father. I've tried to walk with the Lord as Esther did, and my husband still will not listen to me when I offer him wisdom.

The only answer here is that there is no guarantee. There is no guarantee that a husband will listen.  And this is where our relationship with Jesus Christ comes before even that most intimate relationship with our husband. Because Christ is our Heavenly Husband --and our ultimate aim must be to please Him, leaving our husband's heart in His hands and moving forward with the Lord in obedient trust and walking uprightly with the Father. Even if he will not listen. The Lord will honor your obedience, as painful as that situation is . . . 

Another strong woman comes to mind. 

The woman Delilah--the woman partly responsible for Samson's downfall and shame. The woman whose honey-lips and tantalizing perfume lured Samson to his demise. The woman who stole Samson's heart away from his Heavenly Father for a season. 

The woman who Samson just could not resist . . . and yet, could have, had he made different choices leading up to her betrayal. 

Delilah used her female charms to pull the so-called "wool" over Samson's eyes, to shroud his heart and to dampen his discernment and resolve. 

We are often "hard" on Delilah, but sometimes I wonder if she did what she did partly out of fear. Was her own life threatened by bloodthirsty Philistines who wanted nothing but Samson's utter downfall? They knew of her intimate connection with Samson and were probably threatening Delilah's life--perhaps that of her family, too. 

It is natural to act out of fear when our hope is not in God. 

So, although this does not excuse Delilah's actions, we may certainly relate to them . . . 

How did Delilah get what she wanted? Through careful manipulation. 

The difference between Esther and Delilah is extremely important to note--and this can be so helpful to us in our relationships with our husbands and in general. Delilah acted insincerely, underhandedly, deceitfully. Esther acted sincerely, transparently, with complete honesty and openness. 

Esther's dependence and hope were in God--not in her beauty, not in the power of her words, not in her power to manipulate the king in any way, but ultimately and utterly, in God. 

Whether she lived or died. Whether her husband thought well of her or not. Whether she pleased him ultimately or not.

Her hope and strength were in God. 

Delilah's dependence was upon the opposite--upon herself--upon her own powers of manipulation. She used every female "trick" she could muster--whining, pouting, sex, employing her attractiveness and allurement to deceive and destroy. She acted out of selfishness and fear, with no real love in her heart for the man that she gave herself so completely to (and yet, didn't). 

Many men can be won in this way. There is a Satanic power behind deceit and manipulation and using sex as a tool to "encourage" a man to do what we want them to do. 

But this is not the way of Jesus. 

Someone may think, "Well, didn't Esther also manipulate her situation in some way? She dressed as attractively as possible in order to persuade the king and to present her case, she prepared elaborate banquets for him to enjoy and tried her best to ensure that the mood was right for her to address him--isn't that manipulation?"

But the key difference between Esther and Delilah's methods is that Esther didn't use deceit to hide her real motives. Esther was open and honest with no trace of deceit. Delilah's motives were carefully concealed. 

There is a difference in manipulating a situation and being wise in the way that you present something. Was it wise for Esther to make sure that she looked as lovely as possible and anoint herself before going in to see the king? Of course. She wanted to show him how serious she was, how much she respected his authority and kingship. She wanted to make herself pleasing to him in order to present the truth, whereas Delilah made herself pleasing in order to feed a lie to Samson for her own gain. Esther used her beauty and careful approach in order to soften the king's heart, not in order to deceive him. 

The Lord used Esther's beauty and gentle, determined character to touch the heart of the king. 

There is a difference between wisdom and manipulation.  Ultimately, Esther's hope and trust were in God, and in His power and ability to move the heart of the king, not in her own resources of beauty and charm. Delilah relied upon herself, her powers of manipulation, and her ability to move a man's heart in the direction that she wanted it to go. 

Esther's spirit reflected truth and submission to God, whereas Delilah's reflected hidden motives and deceit--the very opposite.

I have read marriage advice--and it has so deeply disturbed me--from respected Christian sources that basically encourage women to manipulate their husbands. 

Treat your husband a certain way and he will love you. 

Use such and such a formula and your marriage will thrive.

Crown your husband king and he will make you his queen. 

It is never from the Lord to manipulate a situation, to attempt to turn a situation in our favor in our own strength apart from the Lord.

We do this in tiny and in great ways in our marriages--and I believe that it always produces frustration or complacency (in a man who knows he's being manipulated but doesn't want to make waves and so allows himself to be manipulated). 

Manipulation never produces that true and lasting peace and contentment that stems from trust in a great and merciful Savior. 

We want a situation to change so badly and we fall prey to advice, even from Christian marriage books.

But the truth is that manipulation only works temporarily and at best produces a false peace and security.

As women, it is so easy to fall prey to the temptation of using manipulation to get what we want. 

The difficult path is waiting on the Lord, as Esther did, trusting in His power and timing--relinquishing our fears into His all-loving hands. 

He is able to turn the heart of the king, to sustain us, to deliver. 

How should we interact with our husbands based upon the examples of Esther and Delilah?

With sincerity, with openness and honesty--prayerfully, our hope and trust in God. 

Not using manipulation or female charms to deceive and distract. 

With honor and dignity, trusting the love of the One who honors those who honor Him. 


Please join me for the next post, which is closely related to this one, next week. The Lord willing, I'll be dealing more in depth with the issue of women who are married to men who are not believers or men professing to be Christians but who are walking in their own way apart from the Lord and how we should respond to that difficulty. 









You might find me on these link-ups:


Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage,  Graced Simplicity, Children Are A Blessing, Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, TGI Saturdays Blog Hop, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Living Proverbs 31, Sharing His Beauty Blog Linkup, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday