Children and Hollyhocks

My dining room is full of hollyhocks. Last year, I had the grand idea of planting 400 pots of these lovely flowers--the former owners of our home grew old fashioned hollyhocks on our property and I love their sweet, simple beauty. We have a farm stand; I sell flowers there sometimes, and so last fall, I collected thousands of tiny hollyhock seeds with the intention of planting them in the early spring to sell on our farm stand. 

I dried the seeds painstakingly and protected them from the little mice that sometimes appear in the attic of our old farmhouse. I collected yogurt and other plastic containers as well as pre-used plastic flower pots. They quickly began to fill our little milk house (where I keep some of my gardening things). In the early spring, I began to fill pots up with my two children and my niece. 400 pots in an attic is a lot of pots! I realized this mid-job. And yet, undeterred, we carried on. At the end of it all, we filled a little over 300 pots with garden soil; then came the job of sorting the seeds and planting them in the pots. This took several days. At the end of it all, when my little seedlings started to sprout, I realized that the attic wasn't providing enough light! There is one large window in our attic and many of the plants weren't getting the light from that window--they were looking sickly--I would say that they were looking green and sickly, but plants are supposed to be green ;-). And so, I decided to transfer the over-300 hollyhock babies into my light-filled dining room (well, at least when the clouds aren't hiding the sun here in the sometimes-temperamental Midwest ;-)). I set up folding tables in my dining room and made a kind of greenhouse there--I could watch the plants and water them and pray that they would grow being right before my very eyes as I  home schooled my two children at our dining room table. 

As I went through this process, a lot of thoughts went through my mind. I do a lot of gardening, but have never grown plants on this "grand" scale, and well, I was learning all along the way! I believe that the Lord teaches us His lessons through everyday, very common things, and all sorts of "lessons" came into my thinking. Many of them were related to my children and I began making connections between growing these 300 plus hollyhock babies and raising them. 

I wanted to share some of the little lessons that the Lord brought to my mind and my heart as I tended to my hollyhocks; they were an encouragement and a reminder to me--I pray that they will also be to you!

The soil must be deep and have good drainage~~
We had to fill over 300 pots and containers to grow our hollyhock seeds. I had all different kinds of containers, some gifted to and some acquired by me.  I realized that the "shallower" pots were not going to allow my seeds to grow properly into plants, so I tried to select the ones that would allow the roots to go down deep enough to be established. The containers that didn't have holes in the bottom (such as yogurt containers, etc.) required them for drainage, and so my nephew used his drill to put drainage holes into the bottoms of them. 

The same is true for children. Our homes are like our "pots." The kind of "pots" that we have will determine strongly what kind of "plants" or adults our children will become. Our homes (growing containers :-)) must be deep spiritually. They must contain the rich, nourishing soil of the Word of God. They must be filled with the fertilizer of truth and righteousness mixed alongside the minerals of mercy and forgiveness. We "water" our little seeds in our homes with love and wholesome words, with the refreshment of loving discipline and with words of exhortation and encouragement. And we never want that "water" to be stagnant, sitting at the bottom of the pot, creating a moldy mess--it is needs to be clean, clear, and flowing, creating and causing the seeds to come out of their shell and emerge into the light. Our words and actions in our homes should effect change and transformation, not stagnation or frustration. How many of us need help in this area? I know that I do! Only the grace and work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts and homes will make a transforming difference--creating peace out of chaos. Our "wells" are not deep enough--and often they run dry. The Holy Spirit is a daily, living resource to tap into--where the life-giving water that always flows runs continually. When we admit that we are not able, not capable, and reach out our hands to Him, He fills our empty" "watering cans" with His water. 

Hollyhocks and other plants need light to thrive and grow
Another lesson that I learned as I planted and watched my little hollyhocks sprout up is the importance of light. I thought that our attic might be a good place to keep these little hollyhocks--it has a good sized window and a fair amount of light. But the more that I watched my hollyhocks develop, the more that I realized that the light there just wasn't enough. Many of the hollyhocks in the corners of the attic had weak stems and looked sickly. I quickly assessed the situation and decided that the hollyhocks needed an exodus downstairs into my dining room (where there is a lot more light) if they were going to survive and thrive. My kids and I tromped up and down the stairs, transferring all of those little seedlings before it was too late. I think that this step of action saved them from certain death--they began to lift their little heads up and their stems looked less "see-through." They were becoming more hearty. 

Isn't this true of our children, too? They need sunshine in their lives--creativity, meaningful conversations with adults, someone to read to them, someone to imaging and to play with them, someone to encourage them in their creativity and in their daily work. They also need the sunshine or light of being daily taught about Jesus --It's fascinating in a very simple way that Jesus is called "the Light" of the world." What does light do? It illuminates darkness. Bringing Jesus perpetually and continually into our conversations with our children and into our daily actions as we walk with Him as a Friend in our homes brings a sunshiny glow to our children's upbringing--a joy that can only come through the Holy Spirit of God and His sustaining influence in our lives as He illumines our darkness. 

Do you crave this kind of light? I know that I do~~call out to Jesus and He will teach you how to bring His light into your home~~He never turns away anyone who asks. We can try to create a "spiritual home atmosphere," but it is only when we invite the Holy Spirit in that this will become real and alive. Let the sunshine of His sweet presence fill your soul early in the day--spend time in His Word--talk to Him--and then bring that sunshine into your home as you talk to and teach and discipline and love your children. He will help you; He will do the work as you obey Him. 

Hollyhocks need water 
Oh, yes! This is important! As a busy mom, often "watering" was one of the last things on my mind. I had to keep reminding myself to water those little seedlings in the attic, and then to continue to consistently water them after they made their short journey downstairs. It's truly amazing what a big difference a little water makes!  A couple of days of neglect and my little seedlings were looking pale and weak. As soon as I watered them consistently, they thrived. 

Isn't this true in a child's life as well? At times, we grow "busy" with all of the responsibilities of daily life. We live in a world that encourages this kind of busy, rushing and racing around. We also deal daily with all of the distractions of technology--often we "connect" with people who we don't really know to the neglect of those closest to us! Friend, often I need to remind myself to be "busy" with what is truly the Lord's work--making certain that what I am doing is really His will for my life. At times, I've been sidetracked and distracted by the cares of this life, or caught up in some project or interest that is a weight and a worry to me. During those times, I've sensed the Holy Spirit lovingly and firmly drawing me back to Himself, to what is really important--to "feeding" the little sheep that He has given to me. Often, we are throwing water all over the place--little bits and droplets here and there when we should be concentrating on the specific purposes that God has called us to in our lives. One of these if we have children, is the souls of our little ones. As believers, this should be one of our primary concerns and focuses of our life. How do we "water" our little ones? The answer is TIME and consistency. We give them our time, we teach them in the ways of the Lord, we bring them alongside of us as much as we are able in our projects and pursuits, we deal with discipline issues rather than ignoring them; we pray daily for their souls and encourage them to walk with the Lord in their little lives. And when we "water" our children daily, without neglecting them, we will see the miracle of God's hand causing them to thrive and grow in His time. 

The little seedlings need to be supported and established.  
This is probably one of the most important lessons that I learned in this whole process. As the little hollyhock seedlings began to pop out of the soil, they were leaning--their weak stems weren't strong enough to hold many of them up. My Mom suggested that I put a little more soil around each one of them and gently push the soil near the base of the stem to support the plant and to encourage it to "straighten up." It took me about a week to painstakingly go through almost every little hollyhock plant and to gently reinforce it's stem. At the end of the process, some of the little plants died, but most of them started looking a little stronger and perking up. It was worth it to take that week and to meticulously go through almost every plant. 

This was one of the strongest lessons that struck home to me as it relates to children. Sometimes there are "weak spots" that we see in the way that we have raised our little ones. It may be a discipline issue, it may be a parenting issue on our end in some particular area. Maybe we should have been more consistent in another area. Our children's "stems" are a little weak and we're not really sure how their final "hollyhock" is going to look! Instead of despairing or allowing discouragement to overwhelm us, the answer comes in painstakingly strengthening the "stems." No matter how long it takes--or how tedious it becomes--the God of all grace is with us to help us.  Perhaps our little seedling's root is not deep enough--we should have pushed the seed in further--perhaps our little seedling did not get enough water or light. The answer is not to give up hope and just let come whatever may--to allow the plant to flop over. The answer is to strengthen the stem of the plant. We do this through prayer--praying over the mistakes we may have made in different areas with our children (and we have all made mistakes; we have all fallen short!) And we do this through carefully doing right in those areas that the Lord has shown us we need to work on. Day by day. Moment by moment. Dealing with the issues--not ignoring them--strengthening the stem. Pushing the rich soil of consistency around the base of the stem. Praying to the Lord to strengthen the little plants and being faithful. The Lord will bless us and our children if we truly want them to love the Lord with all of their hearts and to grow in His ways. He is a God of grace and He will bless us as we obey Him in our lives with our children. 

The plants must be hardened.
After all of the careful days of watering, watching, and protecting, comes the "hardening" phase in the lives of plants. There comes a time, just before the plants are transferred outside completely, that they must adapt to the cooler temperatures that they may face outside, away from the gentle, protecting care of the home and its pretty "unchanging" temperature. And so the plants need to be brought outside for increasingly longer periods of time to get used to being "away from home!" :-) 

Children also need to be "hardened" (and by "hardened," what I don't mean in this context is made less sensitive to the things around them, but more sensitive in His strength through the power and grace of the Holy Spirit). They need to grow strong in their faith when "cooler" winds test them. They need to embrace their faith as their own, and not merely as the faith of their parents. I believe that the greatest thing that this generation needs is young people who take the Lord seriously, who hold the promises of Scripture to heart, who are not afraid to stand in a world that will hate them and persecute them for identifying with Jesus Christ. Our children need to be "hardened." They need to be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power without, finally, our support. I pray this for my children--that they will be willing to stand against the powerful flow of this culture and remain faithful to Jesus Christ until the end. How do we hope that they will do this? Well; ultimately the outcome is in the Lord's hands--but through out daily example, we may encourage them to take a stand against the wickedness of the culture around us. We may instill the principles of Scripture and the theology of the hymns of old into their minds and their hearts. And ultimately, we may be on our knees, imploring the Lord to make our children strong in Him and trusting Him to work in and through them. He is the One who does the work when we humbly come before Him. We need "hardened" (strong, courageous, hearty, bold-in-love) Christians in this world more than ever. And they will be the salt and light of their generation. 

The plants will ultimately reflect His mercy and grace
When all is said and done; when the hollyhocks are brought outside and planted in the warm, receptive soil, when their roots take deep confidence, when their green stems spring up and their beautiful faces reflect the light . . . they are reflecting the mercy and grace of their beautiful Creator  . . . we were only the hands and mouths and feet and hearts that God used, by His grace alone, to plant and to protect and to encourage and to nurture. He does the work in and through us as we yield to Him in the process of bringing our children up by His grace. Each step is grace. Each milestone is a mercy. It is all of Him. And the glory of the flowers that we grow reflect the One who formed their very seed and pronounced it good. Praise be to God for His grace and mercy!

Have you made any mistakes as you grow up your hollyhocks? We have all made mistakes~~thank God for grace, recognize the mistake, and correct it, as He helps and enables you~~get your hands back in the soil and press on through the strength and grace that He alone gives. 

Children and hollyhocks; there are so many wonderful comparisons that can be drawn between "growing" the two. I pray that the Lord will bless these lessons to your heart as much as He has blessed me in teaching me and sharing them. <3 

Apple Muffins and the Work of the Invisible

I was born and raised in Rhode Island, the tiniest state in the union. If you are from New England or have ever visited there, you know that coffee shops hold a prominent place of importance; the drive through lines stretch twice around the building and everyone is addicted to that delightful, splendid caffeinated drink. Even those who don’t really like coffee, hold Dunkin Donuts cups, just as a sense of style. ;-). One of the clearest childhood memories I have is of going to a place called Mister Donut with my Mom and my sisters and sometimes with my Dad. When I went with my Dad, I usually had whatever he did (except if he occasionally chose the coffee roll, of course—that decadent dessert was reserved for adults, not children—that was an unspoken understanding ;-)). My Dad was not a big dessert eater—he would drink pots and pots of coffee—but he would usually order one chocolate frosted donut as his snack, and I would happily imitate him on the few occasions that we went.

But with my Mom, a single baked good comes prominently to my mind—the rectangular apple muffin. I would almost always order this with her. We had a tradition, a habit that my Mom kept for quite a few years while we were little girls. My Mom would drive in our old car to a local library with us girls in tow. There, we would sit –usually in the basement where the children’s section was—for hours with my Mom after we picked a huge pile of books for her to read to us on those squashy bean bag cushions. I can still smell the scent of the old historic George Hail Library in Warren, RI and see in my mind the stuffed animals (taxidermied) that were used oddly as decorations there! My Mom would read book after book to us as we sat enraptured by the stories within their pages. We usually went once a week and literally stayed for hours.

Afterward, she would take us to that place called Mister Donut (now a Dunkin’ Donuts) and after ordering we would file into the orange plastic booth to eat our muffin and to drink a little cardboard container of milk (you could even have coffee milk back then–the official Rhode Island drink--in a little cardboard milk box). It was always a muffin after our library trip, as my Mom considered a muffin healthier than a donut for lunch (at least in theory ;-)). I would almost always have the apple muffin—all of their muffins were baked in a rectangular shape back then, and they would heat them up with butter and put them on a little white plate that needed to be returned to the desk afterward. Not as many things were “disposable” then. The apple muffin had caramelized apples on the top, the kind that must have come out of a can. And I would almost always have that kind of muffin—once I find something that I like, I usually stick with it—I am still this way!

I realize now things that I didn’t realize as a child—that my Mom was investing in us. Her hours of reading were an investment into our lives and hearts. The library time was a special one, but every day at home, especially before we attended school, she would literally read to me and my sisters for hours each day consistently. I can still remember the old green chair that we sat on and the warm sunlight streaming in through the windows where we sat.

She was investing in us. She tells us now that the Lord had laid this upon her heart as she was bringing us up—to read to us like this. And now both of my sisters and I love books—one of my sisters is an English teacher and one is a writer; both use their gifts for the Lord Jesus and are devoted to Him.

It was an investment, a sacrifice. Did my Mom really want to sit for hours and hours every day and read thousands of books to her children? I’m sure that she didn’t always. But she was obedient to the Holy Spirit speaking to her heart during those important formative, growing-up years. She loved us deeply and wanted us to have a good foundation –and part of this foundation she believed, was a heritage of books.

More important to my Mom was that we had a spiritual foundation--not that we were "good" children, but my Mom had a deep desire for each of us that she verbally expressed, that we would love the Lord with all of our hearts and serve Him without counting the cost. This was ingrained upon my young heart even as a little girl and I knew that my Mom was praying fervently for each of her children while at the same time sacrificially investing in each moment of our lives. 

The Lord has given each of us a calling, a chance to invest in our children . . .  

As believers with children there is a universal calling given to each of us and this may manifest itself in different ways in each of our lives, but at the core is the same--to train up a child in the way he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). We are also called to teach the ways of the Lord to our children though word and example. 

Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth. 

Deuteronomy 11:18-20 NKJV

We often place this calling into a "category," the "religious" one, among other things-- but training up our children in the ways of the Lord is to be part and intrinsic parcel of every step of our lives. When we have a living and breathing and active relationship with the Lord, this will be infused into all that we do and be poured into the lives of our children through our daily example. 

At times it is difficult--our flesh rises up and rebels against this kind of unhindered giving--we don't always want to keep a schedule, read another book, rock a sick child and sing to them into the wee ours of the night, give up our own plans and dreams in order to invest our time and energy into the lives of our children. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. 

But the Lord calls us to this kind of joyful, watchful, prayerful existence. And in a paradox, we are fulfilled through giving. It is a matter of surrender. It is the process of joy. 

How do we "invest" in our children? Here are several ways, among others, as the Lord reveals to each one's heart the leading of His Spirit as we love and interact with our children on a daily minute by minute basis and listen to His Spirit leading us--

We invest in them emotionally: We take time to listen to them, talk to them, look them in the eyes. We talk to them while they are playing. We pay attention to their emotional needs if they feel lonely, frightened, overwhelmed. We point them back to Christ and relate their "feelings" to His Word. When they are afraid at night, we pray with them, sit with them, and leave a night light on. When they are overwhelmed, we remind them that Jesus Christ is with them in whatever situation they are facing. When they are angry, we direct their anger to God's Word and point them to the way of forgiveness and mercy and of leaving their feelings and emotions in God's hands. 

We invest in them physically: We do things with them--sacrificially. We get off of our phone and play with them, read to them, show an interest in what they are doing and experiencing. We leave some of the chores undone for a few minutes to play a game on the floor with them, to play make-believe, to help them tie their shoes. We encourage them in the pursuits that they are gifted in, in their physical gifts and urge them to use these gifts for God's glory, according to His will--whether in sports, music, drama, etc. We pray with them about how the Lord would have them use these gifts. 

We invest in them spiritually: This is overarching and touches into all of life. It is vitally important and without it we have lost a sense of the majesty of God and His purpose and of His holding together of all things. Everything may be brought back to Jesus. We can pray with a child who has fallen off a bike. We can relate our trip to a yard sale and finding something that we needed to His provision. We can pray before we drive in our cars, asking for His protection and guidance each time we leave our driveway. We can learn memory verses with our children, we can have a daily devotional time with them. We can have a nightly time of prayer and Scripture reading as a family. We can listen to sermons on CD or through a different means at home or in the car (often we are surprised at how much even little children absorb!) The Lord will bring ideas to your mind as you seek Him in your life with your children. I have found that if I am too busy to seek the Lord in my day to day life with my children, then I am too busy and need to surrender something to the Lord and look at my priorities afresh. 

Again, God will speak to each one individually about how He would have each one personally invest in the lives of their children. Listen for His still, small voice and don't rely on all of the voices around you to tell you how to parent. Listen to His voice and to good, Godly advice, and life will become very simple. His will is not complicated, but it is often difficult, and it will require sacrifice and the deep surrender of searching our own hearts. It is worth it. 

When I was a senior in high school, a "dream" of mine came true. I was accepted into the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. I "dreamed" of becoming an English professor. I loved writing; I loved teaching. It is a long story, but the Lord led me down a very different path. And now, each day, I sit in a quiet house and home school my two little children in a very different place than the one that I dreamed of being in. We are told that we will not feel fulfilled unless we follow our hearts. I am a testimony that that line of reasoning is flawed. When we allow our hearts to lead us, apart from the Holy Spirit, we will always end up feeling empty. But when we allow the Holy Spirit to lead our hearts we experience the pathway of the greatest fulfillment and joy. The Lord replaced my initial desire that was not rooted in His perfect will for my individual life and showed me a pathway different than what I planned, a pathway that included raising up two little children to know and to follow Him. 

It is difficult to give up visible glory to pursue an invisible work--we all want to shine and to be noticed for what we are doing--that is part of human nature. And yet, Christ calls us to humble ourselves, to pursue His calling upon our lives with devotion to Him--to invest at times, in the invisible--trusting the end result to Him. This is what we do when we raise up our little ones (or in any other "invisible" work that Christ has called us to), leaving our own ambitions at the foot of the cross and giving into the life of another, into the next generation. 

There is joy in surrender. There is fulfillment in pursuing the will of Jesus Christ with all of your heart. The initial investment is costly, but it is worth it. When we really desire something precious and lasting, it is worth giving up all the gold in the world to obtain the pearl of great price. 

Follow His leading. Each day wake up early, before your children wake up and spend time in His Word and prayer. And then use each moment of each fleeting day that he has given you to invest in the lives and hearts of your little ones. You will never regret such a decision. And you will live a life of fulfillment and joy. 

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Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, Messy Marriage,  Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, SHINE Blog Hop, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Living Proverbs 31, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party, Oh My Heartsie Girls Wonderful Wednesday Linkup, Writer Wednesday, Tea and Word

Take the Simplicity of Every Moment and Teach It to Your Children

As a mother, I am continually asking the Lord how I can "connect" with my children--in other words, how I can teach them and lead them to the place where they might step into a life of service and love for the Lord, how I can nurture not only their bodies and minds but also their hearts and their souls. We live in an age where everyone is so "connected"; via social media, through easy transportation, through every new and bright form of technology. And really, true communication, true connections have been greatly lost. Why? We live in a distracted and distanced society and culture. Everything is at our beck and fingertips and yet we have really lost touch with the greatest reality of all--the living God--manifested in His creation, in our hearts through faith, in the simple and quiet pursuit of knowing and following Him in spirit and in truth. We are distracted by the cares of this life and they eat away at the fabric of a consistent Christ-centered, focused mode of living.

Our connection with Him is frayed at best and at worst, lost. He is some distant Grandfather in the sky to which we turn often only when something is wrong. I see this attitude of "distance" many times in my own life--there are so many day to day distractions, so many things that "need" to be done, so many enticing forms of entertainment around us, that we often lose touch with what is really important. We think that the temporal things are so necessary when Christ would have us embrace the spiritual. Until we find our connection with Him and lay aside every weight, it will be impossible to truly connect in a sincere way with those around us. In my own life, when the connection to Him is "strong" and the distractions are laid aside, I am able to reach out to the lives that He has placed in my pathway in a deeper and more connected way. 

I have been blessed in that the Lord led me to live in the country. Here, there is not as much noise and distraction materially, yet I still feel and sense that old-Adam tug of my heart toward being distracted--mentally, spiritually, emotionally--I have to constantly remind myself of what is eternal and important--to pursue those things--and often that means laying aside other perfectly 'legitimate" things that I might otherwise do and focusing my eyes and heart on what is eternally important. 

He comes in the stillness. And one of the lessons that He has been impressing upon me lately as I've been praying is to continually "simplify" everything with my children. I write about it here as maybe it will be helpful to someone else. I know that the Lord has been using this lesson in my own heart. 

We need to be present with our children. Period. We can be stay-at-home-moms and not be present with our children. We can be distracted by a million and one things--we all know what distracts us personally and have felt the tug of conviction on our hearts. We know when we are ignoring our children even if we are there with them physically--we know when we are selfishly pursuing our own interests and pushing them into the background of our lives. It's an attitude of the heart that daily should be rooted out like a weed in a an otherwise good garden. And the deeper we allow its roots to grow, the harder it will be to pull out. We need to be vigilant about uprooting weeds of distraction and the cares of this life. 

I've been asking the Lord how to interact with my children (I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old) and this is what He has spoken to me personally--take the simplicity of every moment and teach it to your children . . . talk to them about everything around them, relate it back to the Lord--not in a way that is forced, but out of a heart connected to the Lord--as the outflow of that--

A feather on the ground, 

The robin singing before it rains, 

Ingredients going into a bowl of cookie dough,

A pie crust being rolled out

A hymn softly sung

A prayer for a hurt animal

Seeds being pressed into the ground of the garden

Paint being spread over a board

An earthworm fat and sleek being placed gently back into the soil

An anthill so determinedly built marveled at

A rainbow in the great Midwestern sky

The work of a rake exposing the beautiful green grass under the deadness of winter . . . 

The list goes on and on and on--and I think that this is why my own childhood is so vivid and bright to me---my own mother took the joy of each moment and pressed it into the hearts of her three daughters --in such a way that it has had a lasting impact upon my life. 

Everything in God's creation was sacred in some sense to my Mom, not in some strange mystical way, but a in a real, flesh and bones, joy-infused existence. She gave that joy to us--in so many ways, through the literally thousands of books that she read to us, through her constant relating everything back to the Lord, through her beautiful rich voice singing songs to the Lord as she cleaned our house, through the constant sacrifices that she made to make sure that we went to a Christian school through our younger years. 

The Lord has been bringing that lesson to my heart--to take each moment that He gives and to use it as an opportunity whenever I see it to impart some small grace to my children.  It has been a learning experience for me. 

Children, even very young ones, can be a part of so much of what we are doing--making a bed, cooking, cleaning, raking, again, the list goes on and on--and the more that we teach them when they are young, the more that they will be a help to us as they grow older and feel a part of our lives--

We are tempted many times to let children "go off" and play by themselves when we could include them into so much that we are doing--not everything of course and not all the time of course--but many times. 

This connects our children with us through day to day life--try it--I find that when I pursue this that my children are less "distracted" and more focused--I am better able to connect with them and to nurture their sensitivity toward spiritual things. The task often takes "longer" to complete, but I feel a great sense of joy when I am not rushing through completing everything on my "to-do" list and involving them. We are both enriched--I in slowing down, and they in being a part of what I am doing. 

We have been taught some great lie that children are a burden--it often niggles at our hearts--if they weren't "in the way we would be able to pursue the important things in life. 

Maybe what we think is important really--isn't. 

Children are a blessing from the Lord--near and dear and close and real flesh and blood--not just to be shuffled off to someone else--not just to be let loose to bring themselves up, not to be showpieces or badges of honor that elevate our own pride, but tiny spiritual beings--

Nurtured, loved cherished, taught--to the best of our ability--by the grace of God--and for the good of our own hearts. 

Teach them simply--and simply teach them--Involve them, include them, connect with them, love them . . . 

Let the little children come. 

You might find me on these link-ups:


Inspire Me Monday, Literacy Musing Mondays, The Modest Mom, Raising Homemakers, Classical Homemaking, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries,  Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, Messy Marriage,  Imparting Grace, Thought Provoking Thursday, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Counting My Blessings, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, SHINE Blog Hop, RaRaLinkup, Word of God Speak, Booknificent Thursday, Living Proverbs 31, Coffee For Your Heart Weekly LinkUp, You're the Star Blog Hop, Homesteader Hop, Fresh Market Friday, Heart Encouragement Thursday , Sitting Among Friends Blog Party, Fabulous Warm Heart Party, Oh My Heartsie Girls Wonderful Wednesday Linkup, Writer Wednesday, Tea and Word

My Parenting Method

Since I've become a parent, I've realized more keenly that I'm not an "expert" on anything... 

I'm continually learning as I seek to grow daily in the way in which I "train up" my children in the way that they should go. 

And my heart longs for more of Jesus in my parenting, for more grace, for more direction, for more guidance from the One who promises to shepherd me as I shepherd my babies. 

There are so many "methods." 

So many methods that I stopped really paying attention to them. 

Oh, sometimes I'll read an article here and there--

But I keep coming to the same place...

That it's really about Jesus. 

And I find--

That the more I read His Word--

The more my heart is filled with His Word, 

The methods fade away--and I am filled with His Spirit--leading me, guiding me in my parenting. 

I'm starting to see that my time is better spent learning of Him than listening and struggling and wondering over what every Mabel, May, and Sally has to say. 

What does His Word say to me?

And what can I learn from other godly mothers who take the Lord Jesus very seriously in their everyday lives? 

What wisdom can I glean from them? What wisdom can I glean from other godly mothers who have sought Him in their parenting and striven to bring their children to Jesus' knees?

Something that I'm learning in my parenting--

That there is a balance--a grace-saturated, life-giving balance between unstructured, child-focused parenting and completely rigid, strict-as-nails parenting. 

My children are very strong-willed--I struggle on a daily basis with how to guide them.

Some very wise words have helped me--have guided me in how I raise up my babies--

My mom, quoting advice that she had heard . . .  You must break the will, but not the spirit.

(the will in terms of rebellion, self-will---) 

You must, you must, you must--

Break the will, but not the spirit.

Susannah Wesley said, 

When the will of a child is totally subdued, and it is brought to revere and stand in awe of the parents, then a great many childish follies may be passed by. I insist on the conquering of the will of children betimes, because this is the only strong and rational foundation of a religious education. When this is thoroughly done, then a child is capable of being governed by reason and piety.

A shepherd doesn't crush and subdue, a shepherd guides, gently leads--

He watches over, he protects, he loves. 

And sometimes he disciplines. 

My Mom brought us up with very loving discipline--and I thank God for it--

She rarely spanked us (though she would if she needed to)--mainly she guided us--

When we wanted to "go our own way," her first response wouldn't be NO. It was usually, "Well, why don't we try it this way."

And if that didn't work, she didn't reason with us, she didn't yell, she didn't act flustered and frustrated and overwhelmed. 

When we questioned her authority, she simply and sweetly stated, "Because I'm the mother." 

Because I'm the mother . . . 

Because God has given me charge over my children--

Because someday I will have to give an account for how I shepherded my children, whether I raised them up in His ways or allowed them to wander about and to go their own way.

Whether I was harsh for harshness' sake only--whether I disciplined out of love or out of anger.

Whether I taught them right from wrong and used His precious Word as my guide in bringing them up. 

Whether I prayed over my children and sacrificially gave for their best interest, whether I lived the Gospel for them day in and day out. 

I'll never do it perfectly. 

No one is perfect; and that's where His grace comes in. 

But this is something that I'm also learning--and oh, how thankful I am for His grace--

That His grace is not an excuse to slack off, to give less than He is urging me to give--with heart and soul and mind and strength engaged. 

This burning question haunts me--runs through my veins--

Will I pour myself out in raising my children, in bringing them up to love and serve the Lord?

Will I give and give and give and love and discipline and guide and protect and cherish and nurture until I feel like there is nothing left to give?

Because that place is where He fills my lack with grace--His strength comes in and floods my soul and body with His strength, His ability, His power--made perfect in weakness. 

Oswald Chambers says, 

“…having nothing….” Never hold anything in reserve. Pour yourself out, giving the best that you have, and always be poor. Never be diplomatic and careful with the treasure God gives you. “…and yet possessing all things”— this is poverty triumphant (2 Corinthians 6:10).

Pouring myself out... lovingly disciplining my children, lovingly guiding my children--

Because they are children! They are not adults; they need guidance! They are hungry for guidance; they crave and desire it. 

So let me guide them--as my Father in Heaven guides me and gives me the wisdom to show them the way they need to go. 

I love my babies. 

Because I love them, I will shepherd them, I will guide them--I will look to Jesus for the wisdom that I need to do it. 

Sometimes I don't know what to do--

But what does His Word say to me?

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5 NKJV)

And to him who asks, will He not give with abundance?
 
Shepherding a child, leading, loving, giving--

I need to embrace Jesus, not a particular method for parenting. 

Am I saying that I should never read articles, take any secular advice, heed common wisdom? Absolutely not--

What I am saying is to test everything we hear--everything we read--against the authority and the wisdom of the Word of God. 

Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil. (I Thessalonians 5:21-22).

Where it lines up with Scripture, embrace it--being filled with the Spirit and seeking Him continually. 

And where it doesn't, reject it--even if it's a popular method of parenting, even if its "en vogue," even if it "feels right" to embrace it. 

And trust the Word of God. Trust His wisdom. Cling to Him. 

And He will bless you.

My method for parenting is Jesus Christ--learning from Him, listening to Him, trusting Him.

I have never found Him to fail. 

And so I feed the sheep that He has entrusted to me. 

So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”
He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”
He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?”
And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.

(John 21:15-17 NKJV)

You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Yes They Are All Ours, Missional Call, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Messy Marriage, My Teacher's Name is Mama, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Count My Blessings, Beauty Observed, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup